Sunday, August 2, 2009

Chapter 1 - The Way We Are.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related. Only the plot.

The italics are Bella's actual thoughts.

Bella POV

Thank God this day is over! These patients families have really worked my nerves today. It was finally seven o'clock and I was on my way home from a long twelve hour shift. My back and my feet were throbbing.

I work as a nurse in the ICU for the local hospital here in East Point, Georgia.
I've been an RN for 4 years now. I love my job, most of the time. It's rewarding to know that I can help people during the worst time of their lives. I've always wanted to help people and this was the best career for that.

I reached over and grabbed my purse. I rifled through it in the passenger seat and I picked up my cell to call Emmett. We've been dating for a few years and have lived together for about a year and ninety five percent of the time it works. Of course, nothing is perfect and all relationships have issues. We are no exception.

I dialed his number and was entertained by the sounds of Maxwell's This Woman's Work while waiting on him to answer. Sweet huh?

“Hey baby. What's up?” He said sounding frustrated and tired.

“Just got on the highway. Be home in about twenty minutes. You home already?”

“Yeah. Just got here a few minutes ago.”

“OK. I'll be there soon. Love you.” Trying to sound enthusiastic.

“I love you too. See you in a few.” Then I heard him hang up the phone. I closed my phone and set it in the cup holder.

I reached over to my iPod and started shuffling through the songs trying to find the perfect song that would make me feel stress free. Here it is. I love this stupid song. I pressed play and cranked up the volume. It was Madonna's Star Light Star Bright. It's such a cheesy song but I can't help singing along. And sing loud! My singing really sounds terrible but when I'm in the car alone it doesn't matter.

Em is a very attractive man. He's tall, muscular, kind eyes, warm smile, dark curly hair. It's like they always say though 'looks aren't everything' but I love him more than I ever thought I would love a man. I haven't had many serious relationships in my life. I know he loves me but I wonder just how much he loves me and if it's enough to last. Only time will tell.

At first, Em and I couldn't get enough of each other. It felt as if there was this cosmic force that drew us together. If we weren't at work, we were together. It didn't matter where it was or what we were doing. We could even be doing laundry and as long as we were together it was fun. After a couple years, things just kind of got comfortable. The newness and excitement began to wear off. The butterflies in my stomach I once felt just by looking at him eventually vanished. The sex is good when he puts effort into it but even it's not what it used to be.

Our sex life was so exciting in the beginning. We would do it everywhere. Cars, balconies, movie theaters, friends houses, bathrooms. It was that cosmic force that we couldn't deny. I never had a problem reaching my climax, until we moved in together. I don't know if it's because I have to look at him all day everyday or what but getting me to climax is so much harder these days.

Finally I was home. Thank God! I'm so tired.

“Hey baby.” I heard him say as I walked in the door.

“Hey sweetie. How was your day?” I asked him trying to sound interested.

He let out a deep sigh and said “It was alright. I'm just tired of having to do all the work around there. It's like I'm the only one that actually shows up and does their job. This shit is getting old!” Wow! More bitching. You hate your job. Big freaking shocker! If you would have some ambition and go back to school you could get a job that you didn't hate.

I released a small sigh and said “I know babe. I'm sorry. It's always the people that actually work who get stepped on by the lazy folks.” Can we please talk about something else now? I can't take much more of your bitching everyday about the same shit.

Emmett was sitting on the couch drinking a beer. The first beer of many, I'm sure. If he followed his regular routine he would drink about six before he went to bed.
Problem number one.

While I was cooking dinner, I couldn't help but glare over to him sitting on the couch playing his Xbox. Really? Are you fucking five years old again? Do something around here instead of playing games. I'm not your servant.

I'm no saint but he drinks everyday, no matter what. Then he passes out on the couch and doesn't even come to bed. Problem number two.

If I wanted to sleep by myself every night I would've never moved in with him.
After I cooked dinner, I sat down next to Em on the couch to eat and watch one of our favorite shows, House of Payne. Curtis is so funny that you can't help but laugh at him.

Once the show was over, I looked over at Em and noticed he was still drinking. God! Can't you take one night off??? Sitting there in his t-shirt and work pants with a beer in one hand and the other hand on his groin. Classic.

I tried to loosen the muscles in my face before I said “Em, how many beers have you had tonight?” The whole 12 pack probably. I was attempting to sound like the concerned girlfriend and not a bitch. I wasn't sure how well it was working.

He turned his face towards me with furrowed brows and creases in his forehead. “I don't know Bella. Four maybe. Damn! What difference does it make?”

“I'm just wondering. It seems like you are drinking a lot lately. Like you can't do anything outside of work unless you have a beer in your hand.” Oh and the sex sucks when you are drunk! I couldn't use that card yet. Although, I really wanted to. If I used that it meant there was going to be a war in this house.

He raised up off of the couch and turned his whole body towards me and said “Bella, what the fuck? I work hard all day to help support us and I can't come home and have a few beers? This is bullshit!” He threw his hands up in the air like he was confused.

I have a short temper and I don't deal well with people yelling at me. So I snapped.....

“No, what's bullshit is the fact that sex with you sucks when you're drunk!" Yep, I brought out the big dogs with that comment. "You don't put any effort into it and you just wanna lay there and shove your dick inside me like I'm a fucking rag doll. Why do you think I want to have sex right when we get home? At least then you put enough effort into it to make me orgasm!” My whole face was tense by this point but I managed to remain seated. I knew that was hitting below the belt but he needed to know the truth.

At this point Emmett was staring me down as if he were about to morph into a bear and tear me to shreds. I could see by his reaction that I had struck a nerve with what I had just said. Oh shit! Maybe I went too far with that one.

I kept my eyes locked on his face while his breathing quickened. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.

“Fuck you Bella! If my sex isn't good enough for you, there are plenty of other women ready and willing to take your place." He was now pacing around the living room. Using his hands to emphasize his points. "So you just say the word and you don't have to worry about me or my dick anymore. Is that what you want Bella?”He put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot, waiting on my answer.

Are you kidding? Other women waiting? Go ahead! Those hoes are not going to be as good to you as I am. You have it made and need to realize it and fast!

As I got to my feet, I looked at him and said “Wow! So that's how it's going to be? If you want other women, go have them. I don't own you! Good luck with the new woman because all the women that I've seen that want you don't have shit going for them!”

“That's not what I asked you Bella!" Pointing his finger at me and pursing his lips together. "Is that what you want? Do you want me to leave and find another woman? Answer me damn it!” His voice kept getting louder and louder.

"Don't fucking yell at me like I'm your dog Emmett!" You should be appreciating me. Not demanding answers to some bullshit ass question.

We were standing directly in front of each other. Of course, he's a least a whole foot taller than I am and I have to look up at him to make eye contact.

"Answer the question Bella!" He demanded very loudly.

“No Emmett I don't! I don't want you to leave. I want the man back that I fell in love with! The man that didn't have to drink everyday of his life. The man that came home and helped me with dinner. The man that was happy just being with me. The man that would spend hours on foreplay just to please me! That's what I want!” The question is can you be that man again? Do you even want to be that man again? I could feel the emotions of the fight beginning to take their toll on me.

“I still am that man! You just can't see it anymore. Just because I have a few beers when I get home doesn't mean I'm not happy being with you. I love you. I just can't take your nagging all the time.” He sounded like he was trying to be sweet but calling me nagging wasn't going to make me feel any better.

I looked up at him with a look of amazement and said “Nagging? Who the fuck is nagging all the time? Me asking you a question about how many beers you've had is not nagging!” You think this is nagging? You have no idea! With that I walked around him and went into the bedroom to sit on the bed. I put my face in hands and began taking deep breaths to try and calm down.

He followed behind me and said calmly “Maybe not to you but it feels like it to me." He squatted down in front of me and pulled my hand away from my face. "I don't think I can be what you want me to be. I'm just gonna leave.” Here we go again. You do this shit all the time. Always just want to up and leave as soon as we argue about something.

I saw him walk to the bedroom closet. When I saw him start to throw his clothes into a suitcase, I couldn't decide if I wanted to stop him or let him leave. He was being so childish. When you really love someone how can you just up and leave because of a stupid fight? I was dumbfounded.

Then I came to a decision. I love him. Don't let him leave.

I wiped all the anger off my face and just simply stated “You can't leave over a stupid fight like this, Emmett.” You do realize how stupid you're being right?

“I can do whatever I want to do Bella. You are obviously not happy with me anymore. So I'm leaving. I'm done!” Still throwing his clothes in the suitcase. I had no clue what to say to him to get him to stop packing and act like a reasonable adult again.

“Babe, come on now. You know I love you and I wanna be with you. We can work this out. We always do. Come on, just stop packing. Please.” Great, now I'm crying. This happens every time he threatens to leave.

He must have heard my crying because he walked out of the closet and looked at me.
“Bella. Quit crying.” He walked over to me and grabbed my hands from my face. He pulled me up and snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me to him and hugged me tightly. “I'm not leaving. I just want us to be like we used to be.”

I held my arms around his neck as tight as I could. “I know. We just have to work at it. We love each other enough to make this work. Don't we, Em?” I pulled away slightly to look in his eyes.

"Yes. We do Bella." I could see that he meant it.

He grabbed my face with his big strong hands and pulled it up so my lips could meet his. He pressed his closed lips against mine lightly. His lips were soft and warm.
It was such a innocent kiss that said "I love you and only you!" My hands grabbed the back of his neck to pull myself more into him.

We kissed for a long time only pulling away when we couldn't breath anymore.

“I love you baby. I don't wanna fight with you.” I said sweetly. I really don't but we gotta fix this.

“Me either Bella. I'm sorry.” You should be.

With that Em went back into living room and got another beer out of the fridge. Big Fucking shocker but I'm tired of fighting tonight.

I decided I would give this an honest effort so I went into the living room and laid down with my head in Emmett's lap. While we were watching TV I heard Em's phone vibrating. He picked it up and looked confused.

“Hello?” he said.

“Oh damn! What's up cuz?” He looked so surprised.

Which cousin is this and what do they want? He has a huge family and they only call when they want something.

“You're kidding?! I can't believe it! I haven't seen you in years. Yeah, just let me know when you get in town. Oh and Edward I want you to meet my girl Bella so I'm gonna bring her too.” He was basically jumping out of his seat at this point.

So this is the Edward? Why are you giddy like a five year old at Christmas?

I'd heard the name before but didn't know much about him other than the fact that he moved to Chicago years ago after his parents died. The rest of their family didn't talk much about him or his parents. I just figured it was a sore subject.

“Sounds good Cuz. See you soon.” Now he's involved me in the plans. God only knows what they have planned.

He hung up the phone and had a huge grin on his face. “Bella guess what?”

“What honey? You want me to meet Edward?” I did just hear you on the phone.

“Not only that baby but he's moving back here! I can't believe it! He's been gone for like five years and now he's coming back.”

Could you act any more girly about this? Calm down!

“That's great. I can't wait to meet him. Why is he moving back?” I was asking because I'm nosey and it's odd that Em gets this excited about anything.

“He didn't say. I'm just glad he's coming back. He's my favorite cousin. You're gonna love him!”

“I'm sure I will. If he's your favorite, he's my favorite!” I said sarcastically.

Em began to text people on his phone. I could only guess he was texting everyone that knew his cousin to tell them about Edwards' return.

Your favorite cousin that I've barely heard about? How is he your favorite when you barely talk about him? Why did he leave years ago and why is he back all of a sudden? Somethings up. I hope we can get along because I have a feeling Emmett's going to make me see a lot of him.

He set his phone down and finally calmed down. We watched TV for a while and then I heard Emmett snoring. I'm not even upset. This is what we have come to be.

I got up and went to the bedroom and figured it was time to call it a night. I was pooped from all the arguing. I hoped the next day would be a better day for us.

Chapter 2- Make It Work.

Bella POV

I awoke to the sounds of Em blaring his rock music from the bathroom and him trying to sing over it. I looked over at the clock to check the time. Wow! It's wayyyy too early for this.

Em loves to blare music while in the shower. He sings so loudly, I'm sure everyone in the neighborhood can hear him. It makes me laugh because his singing is terrible but he doesn't care at all. We are alike in that way.

I had decided that today was a new day. If we were going to try and make this work then I would start out on a good foot. I would try to bring back the passion and desire that we shared before our busy lives got in the way. New day, new attitude. Fixing our relationship would require work from the both of us.

I got out of bed and slipped off my nightgown as I walked towards the bathroom. I opened the door and felt the warm steam hit my bare skin. It felt nice. I stepped into the room and shut the door behind me. Em was still singing, he hadn't even noticed that I entered the room. I giggled under my breath as I pulled the shower curtain back just enough to see Em scrubbing the shampoo into his scalp. He was dancing around in the shower and looked positively goofy. I had a plan. I reached my hand into the shower and lightly pinched his butt. He jumped and turned around looking completely startled. His reaction made me burst into laughter.

“Oh! You think that's funny huh?” With a devilish smirk on his face. Uh oh! This is not good.

I let out a small yelp as he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the shower. He pulled me in so quickly that I was barely able to stay upright. He took the remaining suds on his hands and spread them on my breasts. His hands felt so good on my skin. He leaned down to my breasts and blew away the suds. His cool breath hardened my nipples even more. He slid his hands down my stomach and around my waist to cup my butt. He pulled me up slightly making it easier for him to lick my nipples. He lightly flicked my nipples with his tongue while he massaged my ass. I let out a slight moan and I dug my nails into his back. He brought his hands back up and cupped my breasts. He pinched my nipples ever so lightly. My head fell back and I pressed my hands against the tile, trying to brace myself.

Em pushed me back against the tile and lifted my left leg up as he knelt down in between my legs. He looked so sexy kneeling down completely naked with the water running all over his toned body. He took a long hard look at my hot wet slit and then dove right in with his tongue. He quickly lapped at my pussy. Taking long strokes. Licking from my opening up to my clit. My legs almost gave out every time he flicked my clit. His tongue felt so good on me.

“Oh shit Em! It feels so good. I wanna feel you inside me.” Now.

He stood up and looked into my eyes. “Show me what you want.” He commanded as he lifted his arms to press his palms on the tiles above my head.

I licked my lips and grabbed his hard thick cock. He was already hard for me. I stroked his length a few times and told him “This is what I want.” I gently tugged on his cock and pulled him to me. Guiding his cock directly to my entrance. I could feel the head of his cock brush against my clit and it sent a heat wave through my entire body. He slid inside of me with ease. He then lifted my legs to wrap around his waist. I grabbed the towel bar in the back of the shower to help gain some leverage. As he pumped his cock into me I heard him say “Damn Bella.....”

As he continued to thrust into me, I knew I was close to my orgasm. I concentrated on every thing I was feeling at that moment. The cool shower tiles against my back, the heat from the steam relaxing my muscles, the feel of Em's strong hands gripping my ass, the feel of his cock pumping in and out of my pussy. It was too much and sent me over the edge.

“Fuck Emmett! I'm coming......don't stop..... oh shit!” Wow, that was a good one. After that, I was barely able to grasp the bar above my head. I was hoping he was close because I didn't have much strength left in me.

I tightened my pussy walls around him and saw his eyes roll back in his head. It wouldn't be long.

“Come for me Emmett.” He loves it when I command him to come.

“ …... shit.....I'm.....coming........Bella......Fuck!” With that he stopped his thrusts and rested his head on my chest. He gave me a quick kiss as he pulled out and let me back down.

We quickly washed off and Em finished getting ready for work. He had to work a regular eight hour shift today but I was off work for a couple days. As I stood there brushing my teeth, Em came up behind me and kissed me on the neck.

“I love you Bella. I'll see you when I get home. What do you say we have a date night tonight?” He asked with an eager grin on his face.

Really? We haven't had a date night in a long time. “That sounds great Em! What did you have in mind?” I spit out the toothpaste and turned to look at him with a huge grin on my face.

“Just be ready to go at eight tonight. I'm not telling you where we are going. It's a surprise. Wear a dress and heels.”

I kissed him on the lips and said “Okay baby. Can't wait! I'll be ready.”

He left for work and I ran some errands during the day. I decided to buy a new dress for our date. New attitude. I wanted the night to be perfect. Em came home that night and we engaged in casual conversation until we started to get ready for out date. Em was ready to go in no time. I take a little longer than him, but I am faster than most women. I hadn't even noticed Em was gone when I got out of the shower. I put on my dress and did my make up. As I was finishing my hair, I heard a knock on the door. Who the hell is here?

I went to the door and opened it to see Em. “What are you doing babe? Why are you knocking?” I asked him. You live here crazy.

“I'm here to pick you for our date.” He then brought flowers around from his back. They were purple orchids, my favorite. Aww, this is too sweet. He really is trying to make this work.

I was smiling from ear to ear. I reached out to grasp the flowers and hugged him. “Thank you baby.”

“You're welcome, honey. You look hot! You ready to go?”

“Yeah, let me grab my purse.” I quickly grabbed my purse and pulled the door shut and locked it behind me.

Em held the door of the car open for me. He was being such a gentleman. I was already impressed with his effort in date night. He still wouldn't tell me where we were going. I continued trying to guess as we drove into Atlanta. I felt like a little kid asking “Are we there yet?” He never said yes or no in response to my guesses. He just kept laughing at me. I was getting ill by that point. He could have at least given me a hint, instead of just laughing. Then again, that's just how Em is. He has the temper of a wild grizzly bear and the sense of humor of a ten year old pre-pubescent boy.

We finally arrived at our destination, Shout. We don't go there often but he knows it's my favorite place. We pulled up to the entrance and the valet handed Em a ticket as he exited the car. He came over and opened my door for me. The food there is great and the bar/club upstairs is the best part. It has a rooftop bar that overlooks the city. There's a dance floor and a DJ that plays music until two in the morning.

Dinner went well. We gazed into each others' eyes as we sipped our drinks and waited for our food to arrive. We held hands on top of the table. It was almost like a first date. Date night was going very well so far.

After dinner we went upstairs to one of the cabanas on the roof top. We ordered drinks and sat and talked at first. Then the DJ started playing some great dance music, so we hit the dance floor. We danced for hours. I was a little tipsy but not drunk. I happened to notice that Em was drinking a lot and drinking very fast. By the time we left he was totally smashed and I had to drive home. What a great ending to date night! And it started so well. The story of my life.
I was driving home when I looked over and noticed Em had fallen asleep. Fucking great. So much for a new start. Back to the same old shit.

When we finally reached the house I got out of the car and went over to Em's side. I just looked at him sitting there sleeping. How in the fuck am I supposed to get his gigantic ass out of this car and in the house? I would never be able to get him out. He weighs at least twice as much as I do. I would just have to leave him there. I rolled down the windows enough to let in some fresh air. I walked into the house and changed clothes into my pajamas. I looked at the clock and noticed that the sun would be coming up soon. Fuck me. Another night alone in this bed. This shit cannot keep happening.

I tried to calm myself down enough to get some sleep. My body was so tired but my mind was still racing. I was so mad at him for ruining date night by passing out drunk in the car. I can't be the only one putting effort into this relationship.

I could not stay up all night stressing over this. I laid back in the bed and looked up at the rotating fan. Instead of thinking about Em, I concentrated on the fans rotations. Not long after, I was fast asleep.

Chapter 3- You're Not Sorry.

Bella POV

“Bella! Get the fuck up! Quit acting like you don't hear me!” Emmett was yelling at me as I awoke from my peaceful slumber. What the fuck? Why is he yelling at me? He's the one that passed out.

I rolled over and saw Emmett standing over me and staring daggers at me. “Well good fucking morning to you too.” I said sarcastically. I tried to get up from the bed to go pee but Emmett just pushed me back down on the bed.

“Don't try to be funny Bella! Why in the fuck did you leave me in the car all night? It was hot as hell out there.” The look on his face would have been terrifying if my mind was properly working.

I was still half asleep when I said “Quit yelling Em. It's too early for this shit. I need to go pee. Let me up.” I tried once again to raise from the bed and was shoved back down. Are you fucking kidding me? You are not Ike Turner.

“When you fucking answer my question you can get up. Answer me now! Why did you leave me in the car?” He demanded.

“Em, in case you forgot you fucking passed out in the car. And in case you haven't noticed you are fucking gigantic! There's no way in hell I would ever be able to lift you. There's your fucking answer. Can I get up now Ike?” Fucking move. I was seriously pissed at that point.

“So you didn't bother to try and wake me up? You just left me out there in the eighty degree heat?”

“Emmett this is stupid. You know how you are when you are drunk and you were dead to the world. Get the fuck over it and handle yourself better next time. I should be the one cussing and yelling at you. You totally ruined date night and you're not even sorry. I'm starting to think that you are doing this shit on purpose.” He finally let me get up from the bed and pass by him. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. This is gonna be one hell of a day.

I didn't hear anything else from the bed room while I was in the bath room. I was really shocked that he didn't completely blow up and bust down the door. Maybe he actually realized he was wrong.

I cautiously walked back out into the bedroom. I wasn't sure what I would find. I saw Em sitting in the chair across the room. He was as still as a statue with a blank look on his face. I wasn't sure what was going through his head and it scared me. “Em.” I sad timidly. “Are you alright?”

He didn't even move. His expression didn't change at all. I was even more confused by that.

“Baby? What's wrong?” I asked.

“Bella, do you really think we are gonna last?” He sounded like a child who had lost his puppy. I had no idea how to answer him. Yes, I loved him. Yes, I wanted to be with him. Would we be together in ten years? I had no idea.

I sat down on the edge of the bed. “Baby, I don't know. I love you and I wanna be with you but I can't predict the future.”

“I know. It just scares me that we are arguing all the time lately. What did you mean when you said that you think I am doing this on purpose?” He still sounded so sad and confused.

“It seems like as soon as we decide to work things out, you do something to sabotage us. Date night was going so well and then you passed out on me. What should I be thinking?”

“Bella, I love you. I'm not trying to sabotage us. I was having such a good time with you that I didn't realize how much I was drinking.” He looked utterly confused.

“It's not just last night Em. You are drinking all the time. Half the time you don't even sleep in the bed with me because you're passed out on the couch.” I just want my man back.

“I'm sorry, Bella. Do you think we could work this out?” He sounded really sincere.

“We just have to take it day by day and try to make some changes. If we want it to work, I think we can make it.” I said sincerely.

I walked over to him and sat down his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my lips. “We gotta make this work, Bella. I love you too much.”

“We will baby.” At least I hope.

We sat in this position for what seemed like hours. It was so comfortable to be held in his big strong arms. It felt like home. I knew we would at some point have to talk about those changes we each needed to make but we were both so stubborn that it would not be an easy conversation. I was attempting to delay the inevitable when I looked at his face, grabbed his chin with my hand and turned his lips to meet mine.

The kiss was a desperate kiss. It wasn't filled with passion or lust. It was pure desperation. Wanting to hang on to each other and to this moment. We were both trying to stop time. We knew that the conversations over the next few days would be very tense and emotion filled. We were hoping that kiss would lead to activities that did not involve conversation.

Our kiss deepened and the more he kissed me and the more his hands roamed my body, the more my love for him became evident to me. He was still able to make me feel the love he felt for me. Before I knew it, my clothes were practically non existent. I had been so wrapped up in my mind and my feelings that I hadn't noticed he had removed all of my clothing except my panties. He swept me up and laid me down on the bed. He raised up to remove his clothes and I watched his well shaped form undress piece by piece. This sex wouldn't be rushed or hurried. It was going to be very long and focused.

We used our hands to roam each others' bodies. Exploring them like we had never seen the other naked. We kissed every part of each others' bare skin. Starting with our lips going all the way down to our ankles. It was very intimate and sensual. He moved on top of me and I wrapped my legs around him pulling him closer to me. He entered me slowly and easily. He felt so right inside of me. He filled me completely. We didn't stop kissing the entire time we made love.

We came in unison. It was amazing. He and I had never done that before, I didn't think it was possible. We just laid in each others' arms when it was over. We didn't want to leave the comfort of the bubble we had created.

The next few days for us were very trying. Thankfully it was the weekend and we were both off of work. We had decided that we wouldn't be separated until we had figured everything out. We discussed everything. I told him all of the things that he did to bother me. All of the things I was unhappy with in our relationship. He did the same with me. We discussed the future. The things we wanted, the things we didn't want. There was a lot of crying. There was a lot of yelling but we stayed focused and came to some decisions.

Em agreed to watch his drinking and slow down. I agreed that I would quit obsessing and nagging him over the little things. He agreed to try and bring back the romance. I agreed that I would try to step up our sex game. There were plenty of things that were agreed upon. As for our future, we decided that we would try to make it work and work towards taking our relationship to the next level.

We both felt like a great weight had been lifted off our shoulders after everything had been discussed rationally. I was sure we would be strong enough and that we loved each other enough to work through all of our garbage.

It was Sunday night when Edward called Em back. He informed us that he would be in town for good on Thursday. He wanted all of us to get together Friday night for drinks. It sounded like fun and I loved the area of town he suggested. There would be plenty to do if Edward and I didn't get along. I would be able to sneak away and do my own thing.

The next week had went by pretty well and uneventful. Em and I worked and spent a lot of time at home with each other. We were reconnecting. We cuddled a lot. We laughed a lot. We had lots of sex. Our relationship was definitely the best it had been in quite a while.

Chapter 4-When I Saw You.

Bella POV

It was Friday and Edward had called to confirm our plans. He let us know exactly when and where to meet. I was definitely looking forward to a night out and I was looking forward to meeting the mysterious Edward. I hoped the night would go as well as Em wanted it to.

I took one last look in the mirror. My hair was in soft waves. I had on just the right amount of make up. Not overly done but enough to make a statement. I had on a denim mini-skirt, blue halter top and black strappy four inch heels. Perfect. I wanted to make a good first impression on Edward, since he's Em's favorite cousin.
“Bella! You ready to go?” Emmett shouted from the front door.
Walking towards the front door, I said “Yeah. Let's go.”

I grabbed my purse off of the kitchen table and looked at Em. “How do I look?” I said batting my eyelashes at him.
“You look hot baby! You know I love those shoes.” He said with a huge smile on his face.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. He looked into my eyes and leaned down to plant his lips on mine.

As I pulled away I said “Come on Em, you know we have to go or we'll be late.”
With a sad puppy dog look on his face he said “Aww. I was hoping to get a little action in before we left.”

I lightly slapped his arm. “Always so horny. Let's leave before we don't make it at all!”
We walked out the door and down to the car. Em started the short drive to Little Five Points. My mind had been racing with questions about Edward all day. After dating Em for three years and barely hearing about his 'so-called' favorite cousin, I had a ton of questions. Why did he leave town? Why was he back now? Is he here for good? Does he have kids? A wife? Girlfriend? Where is he going to live? So many questions. Slow down, Bella. You're gonna seem crazy if you just bust out with all the questions tonight.

So, instead of bombarding Em with all of my questions at once, I began to ease into my line of questioning.

“Em, why did Edward leave after high school? Was it for college?” I asked casually, attempting not to sound too eager.
He glanced over to me for a second, trying to keep an eye on the road and said “Well, his parents died in a car accident on the night of his graduation. He kept blaming himself for it. About a month later he just said he was leaving. He wouldn't tell us where.”

Wow. I had no idea. That's so sad but why did he blame himself?

“Why do you think he was blaming himself for his parent's death? Was he driving the car?” I had to know.

“ He wasn't driving the car but he was following behind them. He saw the whole accident. They were on their way downtown to celebrate his graduation. The car in front of my aunt and uncle blew a tire and spun out. Carlisle tried to swerve to miss the car but he was going so fast that the car flipped over five times. Edward kept saying that if he hadn't wanted to go downtown his parents would still be alive.” His face looked very somber as he told me.
God. I cannot imagine seeing my parent's die right in front of me.
I didn't really know what to say at that point. I didn't want to keep questioning Em about his Aunt and Uncle's death. So, I just let it go. Maybe Edward would answer my questions during the nights' conversation.
We pulled into Little Five Points and I started people watching. Little Five Points is an area in East Atlanta that is only about a mile long and not even a mile wide but there is always so much going on in that little area. There are three or four pretty famous bars where the Atlanta celebrities can usually be seen on the weekends. There are a bunch of independently owned shops. There's always someone painting something on the sidewalk or someone playing music on the street. Every race and type of person can be seen there. Gothic, preppy, urban, rich, poor, homeless, average, black, white, Asian, Indian. It's definitely a place that can keep your interest.

We were meeting Edward at one of the smaller bars. It has a nice patio and some of the best original drinks in the whole city. Definitely a good place to sit outside and quiet enough to catch up.

Em parked the car and as I got closer to the door I saw a brand new silver Volvo. It was so shiny and pretty. There was an Illinois license plate on the back. Nice car.

As we walked into the bar I heard someone call out “Emmett!” I didn't recognize the voice but it sounded amazing. It was clear, deep and smooth.

We both looked to our left to see a tall well built man with perfectly imperfect bronze hair walking swiftly towards us with a huge smile on his face. His outfit was perfectly put together. He wore a Gucci button up shirt and jeans. His shoes were also Gucci. Nice shoes! His outfit must have cost a small fortune. Must be Edward. Holy shit he's hot!
I could feel my jaw hanging down as he got closer. Pick your fucking jaw up off the ground Bella!

Emmett embraced him with a huge bear hug and an even bigger smile on his face. “Cuz!”
After a few moments I managed to pick up my jaw and they finally released from their embrace. Edward looked over at me still smiling and reached his hand out to shake mine and said “You must be Bella? I'm Edward. It's a great pleasure to meet you.”

I gave him my hand to shake and as his hand enveloped mine I could feel a shot of electricity shoot through my hand and up my arm. What the hell was that? Trying not to smile too big I said “Yes, I am. It's nice to finally meet you.” Get it together Bella. You can't just stand here holding his hand smiling like an idiot all night. I released his hand and finally quit staring.
“I got us a table out here on the patio. You guys ready for some drinks? This is my first night out since I've been back so let's get to it! All drinks are on me tonight!” His voice sounded like velvet as he spoke. I almost felt like I was in a trance just listening to him speak.

We got to the table and the waitress came to take our orders. I ordered a painkiller and Em ordered a Jack and Coke. The painkillers are the drink that made this bar famous. Edward was already drinking a Grey Goose and pineapple juice. Nice taste in liquor, I see.

I was trying not to stare but as Em and Edward were conversing I continued to find my self fixated on Edwards lips. They were shaped perfectly. They looked so moist. I couldn't bring myself to look away every time he took a sip from his straw. What the fuck am I doing? My boyfriend is right here and I just keep fucking staring at his cousin. Get it the fuck together!
I had no idea what they had been talking about. I wasn't really interested in their conversation. I wanted to keep looking at Edward.

“So, Bella, Emmett tells me you're a nurse. How is that going?” I heard Edward say. I tried to get my mind to work instead of letting his velvety voice make me zone out.

“Yeah. I'm a nurse in East Point. I like my job. I get to help people and I make pretty decent money.” Somehow my mind worked enough to produce an actual sentence.
With a smile on his face he said “You must be pretty smart to be a nurse.”
Yeah but I feel like an idiot right now because I can't stop gawking at you.
“Yeah I like to consider myself pretty intelligent. I didn't exactly graduate at the top of the class but I did pretty well.”

“Don't let her fool you. She's the smartest woman I've ever met. I'd trust her to save me any day.” Em proudly said to Edward.
We all three continued in casual conversation for a while. The questions that had been racking my brain all day were still unanswered. The more I looked at Edward the more I wanted to know about him. I was completely intrigued.
Grow some balls Bella and just ask him what you want to know.
“So, Edward, I know I just met you and I don't want to seem nosy but can I ask you something?” I said. Better to just spit it out than to keep racking my brain about it.

He looked at me with a slight grin on his lips and what I swear was a sparkle in his eyes and said “Sure Bella. We are practically family. What do you wanna know?”

“Come on, Bella. Let's not give him twenty questions tonight. Let's just let loose and have fun.” Em said to me. Shut up Em!

“No No Emmett. It's completely fine. The lady has an inquiring mind. Let's see what she wants to know.” Edward said with that same smirk on his beautiful face.

“Thanks Edward.” I said smiling at him. “I was just wondering where you had moved to when you left Georgia?”
“Well, I went to Chicago. Been there until I came back here.” He simply stated. He made it sound like he hadn't disappeared from his whole family and was just right up the street.
Chicago! Shit! That's his Volvo. He must have a lot of money. Buying the drinks, that outfit and then the nice car. Where is all his money coming from?
I couldn't think of where to continue after that. I wanted to ask about the money but that's rude. Should I have asked why he left? Why he came back? I decided not to push my luck and besides my mind was still reeling from the revelation I just stumbled upon.
We continued in casual conversation for a while longer. Edward paid for everything and I thought the night would end there but then Edward asked us to go to a club not far away and keep the night going. Em and I were up for anything and I also liked the idea of having more time to look at Edward. I hoped Em hadn't noticed that I had been staring basically all night. But then again Em was so engulfed in his reunion with Edward that he barely paid me any attention anyways.

We arrived at the bar and got our drinks. We found a small booth and sat down to enjoy our drinks. The fellas were talking again but the music was so loud I couldn't hear any of what they were saying. Then I heard my favorite song come over the sound system.
“Oh shit!” I exclaimed. “This is my song!! Let's go dance Em!”

“I don't feel like dancing right now, Bella.” Em said. He probably just wanted to keep drinking for free. Figures.

Ugh! What the fuck ever. I'll go dance by myself.

I got up out of the booth and I was half way to the dance floor when I felt someone grab my hand. I thought I felt that same electric shock as before. It couldn't be Edward, could it? I turned to see who it was and saw it was Edward. Oh shit. I was totally shocked. I didn't expect it to be him holding my hand. I looked at his beautiful face and I swear I almost melted.

“I told Emmett it wasn't right for such a pretty woman to be dancing all alone and that I would dance with you to keep an eye on you.” He winked. He fucking winked!

I couldn't help but smile and said “Let's do this!” Oh my God. Oh my God. Stay calm. Stay calm.

Chapter 5- Dirty Dancing

Bella POV

We made our way on to the dance floor and I started swaying my hips to the beat. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. My pulse was racing. Thank God I had my back to him because I was certain my face was blood red.
I felt Edward's hands on my waist gripping me firmly. I could only imagine the amount of pleasure that those hands could do to my body. I pushed my butt into his groin and began to bounce my booty on him. He was moving along with me and I could feel him pressing his groin into me more and more. I wanted us to be doing this with no clothing barrier in between our bodies. The electricity I felt from the first handshake was back and every time he touched me it felt even stronger. The constant pressure from his hands combined with the electricity made me shudder.
I'm gonna get in so much trouble for this. I hope Em isn't watching.

I looked over my shoulder to look for Em. I'm sure he thought it was just harmless dancing. Instead of finding Em's face, I found Edward's. His lips were so close to mine. I looked right at them. They were moist and smooth. I instantly pictured his lips kissing all over my body. I had to fight the urge not to press my lips against his.

What the fuck am I thinking? You cannot kiss him! Look away, just look away already! Why am I feeling this way? Damn it. Get it together!!!

I managed to look away from Edward's face and kept dancing. My pulse was still racing, my palms were sweaty, my breathing was irregular. My panties were even wet. Fuck!! I really needed to regain my composure before I did something really stupid. We continued to dance like that for a few more songs. Every time I would try and leave his grip, he pulled me right back in.

Then I heard a high pitched female voice yell “Bella! Bella!” I looked over to my right and saw Rosalie and Alice running towards me with huge smiles on their faces. Thank God for them. Just in time.

I smiled back and raced to meet them. Alice and Rosalie are my best friends. We've always looked out for each other. They are like my sisters. I never had any siblings and we have been inseparable since childhood.

“Ladies! I'm so glad to see y'all! You didn't tell me y'all were coming here tonight!” I shouted over the music.
“We didn't plan to it was just a spur of the moment thing.” Alice said.
“Yeah. We knew you and Em were going out tonight so we just decided to go dancing.” said Rosalie.

I felt someone walk up behind me, it was the electricity again. Fuck! Would you go back to the booth with Em already? Then I heard Rosalie say “And who is the gorgeous man you were dancing with?”
Shit! Why did he follow me over here. I was trying to get away before I got in trouble. Now I have to introduce him.

“Oh ladies! This is Edward. He's Emmett's cousin that just moved back to town.”

“Hi ladies.” he stated as he extended his hand to Alice and Rosalie.
“Well hello Edward!” They exclaimed in unison.

Could y'all be any more obvious? Yes he's handsome but, come on, y'all are basically throwing yourselves at him.

“Girls, come over to the booth where Em is and we can all sit and talk together.” I needed to get back over to my man. Get my head back where it should be.

We all walked over to meet Em. Once we reached the booth where he was sitting I sat down next to him and put my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. I could smell the liquor on his breath but I didn't care. That was where I was supposed to be. Sitting next to my man not living in fantasy land with Edward.

We drank and everyone talked about how we all met and all of the usual introductory garbage. I could see that Rose and Alice really were trying to catch Edward's attention. Although, every time I glanced at Edward, he was looking at me. I tried to focus all of my attention on Em. I had let my mind wander in forbidden territory long enough for one night.

“Looks like the ladies have taken an interest in Edward, huh?” Em said looking at me.
Hell, I've taken an interest in Edward. Shit! I have to get my head out of the gutter.
“Yeah. It looks that way. Then again it doesn't take much for Rosalie to be interested in a man wearing Gucci!” I said jokingly.
Em laughed and said “She is a bit of a brand whore huh?”
“You already know!”

When the DJ called for last call, Edward once again paid for everyone's drinks. Even Rose and Alice's. That, of course, made Rose all the more interested in him. For some stupid reason I started to feel angry that she was so obvious with her attraction to Edward. I couldn't blame her but I didn't understand why I cared who liked him or who he liked. I should hope that my friends would find a great guy and she might find it in Edward. There wasn't any way I could have him but she could.

We walked out of the bar and into the lot and I saw Rosalie give Edward her number. Instead of being happy for them, I was angry and jealous.

Fucking get it together Bella. You have a man already. You cannot be with him so let one of your friends have a chance.

Over the five hours we were out, I only managed to finish three drinks and definitely wasn't feeling anything from the alcohol. There was too much going on in my head to even think about getting drunk. So, I knew I was okay to drive home. Edward and the ladies had definitely had more than enough to drink and thought it was best to take a taxi home.
When the taxi arrived I gave Alice and Rose a hug and told them I would see them the next day for our usual Saturday lunch. I overheard Edward and Em making plans to get together soon.
Then Edward came over and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. I literally stopped breathing for a few moments.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit. It was that damn electricity again. I needed to control my body and emotions and cut that shit out. I pulled away and said “Thanks for a good time. We had so much fun and it really was great getting to meet you. I hope we can all get together again soon.” Maybe when I can act like an adult instead of a fucking school girl!
“Me too Bella. I'm glad Emmett found a great woman. I'm sure I will see y'all soon. Drive home safely.” Again with that velvet voice.

Em and I got into our car and drove away. This night hadn't helped anything. Em and I were doing well and then here came Edward. Totally screwing with my head. My questions were still unanswered. Now, I had a million new questions to add to my list. Only, he couldn't answer these. I had to figure out the answers.

What the fuck is this electricity bullshit?
Why do I feel like a teenager with a crush?
Why am I so attracted to my boyfriend's cousin?

I shouldn't be feeling any of this and yet I couldn't control any of it! I've got to figure this shit out before I get myself in trouble. I'm so confused.

I felt like the car was on auto pilot because somehow the car was going in the right direction but my mind was completely somewhere else. I could not stop thinking about Edward. I kept having flashbacks of dancing with him. His lips continually popped into my head. I could still feel the electricity from him on my hips. It was too much to handle.

We finally arrived home and we walked into the house. It was really late and we were both tired. We got into bed and Em cuddled up behind me. He kissed my cheek and wrapped his arms around me. “Good night Bella. Love you.” He said.

“Good night Em. Love you too.”

Em was asleep in no time but I couldn't manage to fall asleep. My mind was going nonstop thinking of Edward. This shit could not happen again. A long while later I managed to finally fall asleep

Chapter 6- GIrls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Bella POV

It was Saturday and I didn't feel any better than I had the night before. How in the hell could a stranger send electric jolts through my body just by a simple handshake? Sure he was gorgeous but he was Emmett's cousin. I should not have been feeling or thinking any of things that had been in my head. He was all I could think about.

Edward's hand exploring my body. His lips pressed against my flesh. His tongue gliding over my nipples as he massaged my breasts. Working his way down my stomach to my hot, wet, pulsating groin. His long fingers stroking my clit and then slowly pressing his fingers inside of me. Him licking my clit as he pumped his fingers in and out of my pussy. Those emerald green eyes gazing up at me while he sucked on my clit. “Bella! Hello? Did you hear me?” Emmett interrupted my fantasy. I hadn't even noticed that my hand had begun to make it's way toward my groin. That would have been fun to explain.

“I'm sorry baby. What's up?”

“Nothing. Your cell was ringing. It was Alice's ring tone. Aren't you ladies supposed to have lunch today?” Oh shit! I was so consumed in my fantasy and confusion that I completely forgot.

“Yeah. I better start getting ready. You have any plans today?” I got up and started to walk to the bathroom for a cold shower. I needed it after that day dream I just had.

“Not really. Edward had said something about coming over to hang for a little while.” Fuck! He's gonna be in my house? And I'm not even gonna be here? Was he hoping I would be here? Damn! I wish I could stay here for once.

I finished getting ready and texted the girls to see where we were meeting. We all decided on our favorite Mexican restaurant. Edward hadn't arrived before I left the house. Thank God! It made it a lot easier to leave without actually having to look at him again. When I arrived at the restaurant the girls were already waiting on the patio with their drinks. I sat down and I swear the first thing out of Rose's mouth was “So Edward is fucking hot!” Well no shit Sherlock!

This lunch was supposed to be a distraction from my Edward fantasies, not contributing to them.

“He's alright.” I said. I couldn't let anyone know how I was really feeling. It would definitely make it's way back to him or Emmett.

“Alright?! He's the finest fucking piece of man meat I've ever seen!” Rose exclaimed. “I bet I can get him to sleep with me.” You slut! You better not! Did I just call my best friend a slut? God! He's already fucking up my mind!!!

“Yeah Bella. You have to be blind not to see how hot he is!” Alice agreed. She wasn't quite as crude as Rose. Alice is a tad more reserved. I fucking see his hotness! Hell I even feel it! But I can't! I have to block it out!

“So what do you know about him?” Rose asked.

I know that he had me so aroused from just dancing that I would most likely explode if he was to actually penetrate me. Do you wanna know that? Ugh!

“I don't really know anything. Em doesn't say much about Edward's personal life and I just met him last night.”

“No bitch! I mean does he have a girlfriend? Is he married? The good shit!” Rose was so blunt. Alice just giggled while she sipped her drink. Your guess is as good as mine.

“I have no idea. He didn't mention one. So I'm guessing the answer is no.”

Please please Rose, new subject now.

I was so jealous of Rose actually being available to date him. She wouldn't be the slut of the town for fucking her man's cousin. No one would think twice about Rose and Edward getting together. No one but me that is. I don't think I could listen to the details of them having sex and Rose likes to tell all the dirty details. I knew it would kill me. I would have to sit there and grin and bear it.

Rose wouldn't let the conversation about Edward die. I definitely tried more than once to change the subject but she always found a way back to talking about him.

One last attempt to change the subject. “So, Alice, how's the boyfriend search going?” Alice has been single for a while and has been on a mission to find a new man.

“Oh! I didn't tell you! Before we ran into you last night I met the cutest guy! He has this blonde messy curly hair and these beautiful blue eyes. He has a smile that could melt your heart.” Her face was so serene as she spoke of him.

“So....what's his name? Are you gonna go out with him?” It sounded like she was really into this guy.

“His name is Jasper and I don't know yet. We exchanged numbers last night but I'm waiting on him to call. Freaking guys and their three day rule.”

“I'm sure he will call Alice. If not, he's a fool!” It was true. Alice is such a sweet girl and good person, he would be stupid not to call her.

“So what do you think Bella? You think I should go for it? You think I should give him some?” Rose asked. Back to this again. No! I think you should never ever think of him again!

“Well, if I had met Edward before I met Em, I would have gave him some.” What the fuck? Did that just come out of my mouth?

Alice and Rose just looked at me totally shocked. Yep. I just said that. “You know what I mean! He's attractive and seems to have money. If I were single, I'd do it.” I said calmly. I hoped they would believe I was being hypothetical. Although, I was totally serious. Hell, I was thinking about giving him some and I wasn't single.

“So what do we need to do to get him to really notice you?” Alice asked Rose.

“I gave him my number last night but you know how guys are, they wait forever to actually call.” Please don't call her!!

I had to at least pretend to help her. Otherwise she would suspect something. “I'll talk to Em and get some info for you on him. Then we can strategically plan out a pursuit.”

“Thanks Bella! I have to have him!” Rose exclaimed. She looked like I had just given her a present.

“Oh hell Rose! You have to have every good looking man you see!” Alice joked.

“I do not! It just so happens that rich attractive men like me!” Rose retorted.

“Right! And it has nothing to do with the fact that your ass practically hangs out of your shorts and your boobs could pop out of your shirt at any time?” I was being sarcastic and honest at the same time. She was right though. She usually got any man she wanted. I hoped this time she wouldn't.

We sat there for a while longer and continued to talk about pretty much the same thing. Edward. I would have been better off staying at home. I was barely even listening to the girls talk. I was too involved in my day dreams. If I wasn't dreaming about the dirty things I would do to him, I was reliving last night in my head.

The way his body felt pressed against my back while we had danced. His hot, sweet breath on my ear. His strong hands gripping my hips. His groin pressed against my ass as we swayed to the beat. The electricity he sent through my entire body.

I was brought back into the real world when the waiter brought our checks. We paid our tabs and said our goodbyes. I knew Rose would be making herself more present in the coming weeks. She wouldn't let up until she got what she wanted.

On my way home Em texted me and asked me to pick up some beers for him and Edward. Fuck! He's still at my house? Wonderful!

When I arrived home I saw Em and Edward sitting on the couch completely engulfed in a Xbox basketball tournament. Maybe they won't even notice I'm home. Maybe I can say a quick hello and go to my room.

No such luck. As soon as I walked into the kitchen, they both looked up at me. “Hey!” They said together.

Uhhhh.....God he's fucking gorgeous and look at that smile. It fucking sparkles. “Hi fellas. Who's winning?” I managed to spit out.

“Well your man here” pointing to Em “is kicking my ass! He plays this game a lot huh?” Edward asked.

Yeah he can play the game and I'll play you. Stop it Bella!

“Yeah he does.” Please quit talking to me and just play your game. It's too much to have you here in my house and looking so magnificent.

“Well, you boys have fun. Good luck Edward. No one has beaten Em, ever.” I said as I walked towards the bedroom. I had to get away from him. I couldn't take anymore time with him without jumping him. That hair, the sparkling fucking teeth, those biceps.....UGH! Fuck!!

I shut the bedroom door and threw myself down on the bed. I looked up to the ceiling talking to God. Why are you doing this to me? I know it's wrong. I know I can't do this. But I want to SO bad! I have to find a way out of this.

I managed to calm down my raging hormones for a while. Then I heard Em shouting for me. “Bella can you come out here?”


I walked into the living room. “What's up honey?”

“The tournament is over and yours truly is the victor yet again! Ha Ha! In your face Eddie!” Edward looked like he didn't really give a shit about the tournament but when he looked towards me I swear his eyes lit up. not look at me like that! I just put on clean panties for Christ's sake.

“So Bella, how are the ladies today?” Edward asked.

“They are good. We had a great lunch. I hope you know you have had some effect on Rose.”

“Oh yeah? Is that so?” He questioned. Don't act like you don't fucking know what you do to women.

“Dude quit fucking acting like women don't throw their selves at you daily!” Even Em knew it.

“So what did Rose say about me?” He asked.

“She said that she wants to get to know you better and that you should call her. Maybe y'all can hook up sometime?” I fucking hope not. Please say drop dead gorgeous women aren't your type. Anyone but my friends.

“I may just have to call her now that I know she's interested. I thought she may have just been being nice last night.” Bullshit! You knew she was basically throwing herself at you.

“That sounds great. I'm not gonna tell her though. Just don't wait too long to call her.” I'm done with the matchmaking! I want him too badly to help him hook up with my friends.

We all continued to talk for a little while longer but it was too much for me. Dealing with the emotions of being so utterly attracted to my boyfriends' cousin and having them both in the same room was too much too soon. I needed to go back to my room and chill. At least there I could attempt to block Edward out.

Em and Edward decided to go over a friend's house and when they came in to tell me they were leaving, I pretended like I was sleeping. Edward was such a nice guy I was sure he would hug me again and I didn't think I could take it. Once they were gone, I rolled over and stared at the ceiling and my mind began to wonder again. I wonder if he feels the same way? Does he feel the electricity too? Does he even like me? Does he want Rosalie? UGH! What the hell is wrong with me?

Chapter 7- Hypothetically.

Bella POV

It has been a couple of weeks since I first met Edward. Luckily, there haven't been any more visits from him. According to Em, he is too busy moving and getting situated in his new home. His absence has been a good thing; it makes my life a lot easier. My relationship with Em is something I promised to work on and put an honest effort into. Edward had been making that promise very difficult for me. I have already invested so much time into Em that I can't just throw it away from some stupid electricity. My priority is Em and our relationship.

Rose, Alice and I still have our weekly Saturday lunches. At the most recent one we had some pretty interesting conversations.

“So Rose, did things get hot and heavy with Mr. Amazing last night?” Alice asked Rose inquisitively. I had purposely avoided bringing him up. I didn't want to know anything about the date. Good or bad.

“Don't you think if things had gotten hot and heavy I would've told you by now?” Rose stated as she shoved another piece of food in her mouth. She looked really pissed and she only eats this much when she's not getting her way. Hmm...Maybe that's good news for me!

“Really Rose? I was for sure you two would hit it off.” I had to at least act like I was supportive.

“Why don't you tell us what happened and we can see where it went wrong.” Alice said.

“Okay, so he picks me up and I, of course, looked amazing. We went to a fancy restaurant downtown. He pulled my chair out and everything. We had good wine and good food. But every time I tried to talk he looked like he was uninterested. So, I thought that if I could get him to come to my house I could loosen him up. I mean who could resist me, right? He wouldn't even entertain the idea of coming to my house and then he made some lousy excuse about his house being a wreck from the move. So, we couldn't go there. Then when he dropped me off at home he didn't even kiss me. He walked me to the door and just hugged me. Who the hell just hugs these days? I have no fucking idea what's wrong with him.” Her whole face was tense. She's never really been rejected. Maybe he does feel the electricity. Why else wouldn't he want Rose?

“Honey, maybe he's just a little stressed from the move. Maybe he's not ready to date yet. He could have just ended a relationship in Chicago. I don't think it was you.” Alice tried to comfort her.

“Yeah, Rose. I'm sure he will change his mind. He will come around.” I said. Hopefully not. Maybe talking about fashion isn't his idea of a good night and I'm sure that's all she was talking about.

Time to change the subject. “So Alice, how is Jasper? Are you two still seeing each other?” I asked.

“I haven't even told you!” She literally almost jumped out of her seat at the opportunity to talk about him. “Things are great! He's such an amazing person. I really feel like we are meant to be together. He's such a gentleman. We actually have a date coming up! I'm so excited! It just feels so right, being with him.”

“That's great Alice. I'm so happy for you! I'm still waiting to meet him you know?” I reminded her. I was truly happy for her and that the focus had shifted to something else. Rose just sat there like a bump on a log, still eating.

We finished lunch and Rose didn't look any better. I was hoping she would meet someone to take her focus off of Edward. I couldn't keep having him as the subject of all our lunches. I have to admit that I was more happy than I should have been about her bad date. I couldn't help it though. My feelings were obviously out of control.

I was back at the hospital for another twelve hour shift. I was checking the IV on one of my patients when I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I left the room once I was finished and grabbed my phone. I had a new text message from a number I didn't know. I opened it.

Hey Bella. It's Edward. I need a favor. -E

How in the fuck did he get my cell number? My heart skipped a beat at the thought of what kind of favor he wanted.

Hey Edward. How did you get my number. What kind of favor do you need? -B

Do you want the kind of favor that involves us naked? Fuck! Concentrate Bella!

I went to continue my rounds. I was unable to concentrate, I was unable to work with him in my head. The last thing I needed to was to walk into a room and picture Edwards' face on one of my patients. I would not check my phone until my rounds were done. I needed to give my patients my full attention.

Once I was finished I went to the nurses' station to sit down. My phone had vibrated at least a few times. The first one was from Edward.

Emmett gave it to me. Hope you don't mind. I need some medical advice. Can you help? -E

Fucking Emmett! Why would you just give my number to Edward?

No prob. What can I help you with? -B

While I was waiting for him to respond, I checked my other messages. I had one from Alice and one from Em. Alice was asking where she should have Jasper take her on their next date. Em was letting me know that he had given Edward my number. A little late there Em! I decided to let it slide. If I made a big deal out of it, I would probably end up having to tell him about my feelings towards Edward. Not worth the fight.

Edward finally texted me back.

My stomach is killing me. It feels like the inside of it is on fire. Cramps and shooting pain. What do you think? -E

So it really was a medical issue. I thought he was just looking for an excuse to talk to me. Jumping to conclusions.

It sounds like you might have an ulcer. You need to go to the Dr. ASAP. -B

I felt a small pain inside of my chest at the thought of him being in pain. What the fuck is wrong with me?

My phone vibrated again.

Thanks Bella. I'll go as soon as I can get in. -E

No prob. Let me know what they say. -B

Maybe now there wouldn't be anymore texts for the day. I went back to work. Filling out charts, checking on patients, talking to families. Typical day at work.

I was finishing up my shift when, yet again, my phone vibrated. Damn! Can I get a fucking second without this phone going off?

It was Edward. Again. My heart sped up at the thought of what the text would say. Was he okay? Did he want something else?

B, no ulcer. Just a spasm. Gave me meds. Thanks again. I owe you. -E

You owe me? You bet your ass you do! You owe me a good long hard fuck.

Nonsense! U owe me nothing. Glad you are okay. -B

I was relieved to know that it was just a spasm that some simple medicine could cure.

Another text.

So, I gotta b honest. I wanted something else 2. -E

What else? My pulse instantly raced at the thought of him wanting more.

Um, okay. What else? -B

On my date with Rosalie she told me what you said about me. -E

You have got to be fucking kidding me? Bitch! I automatically knew what he was talking about.

What's that? -B

My mind was racing as I waited to see if he did indeed know what I had said.

That if you met me first you would have been with me. Is that true? -E

Holy fucking shit! He knew what I said. How in the hell am I supposed to be around him now? My heart was beating out of my chest. By that time I was off work and on my way home.

It doesn't matter if it's true. Nothing can ever happen. -B

Way to go! End it before it really starts.

It does matter. I need to know. -E

Why do you need to know? To know that you are the king of all women? To know that everyone woman on the planet wants to have sex with you?

It doesn't matter. Aren't you dating Rose anyways? -B

Gotta put the focus back on him and away from me.

Not dating. One date. She was trying so hard to have sex with me that it turned me off. -E

Ha! That's what you get Rose!

Sorry to hear that. -B

I had to at least pretend to be sad about it.

Back to my question. Is it true? -E

Should I be honest or lie? A part of me wanted him to know the truth but the other part of me knew that it would only get me in trouble.

Yes. It's true. If I wouldn't get caught I would do it. -B

I couldn't believe I had really just told him that. It was the truth. I wanted him so badly. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't deny the feelings I was having.

Wow Bella. I would too. We can do it and not get caught. -E

Did he really just say that? Em's your cousin! I'm his girlfriend. We can't!

You would do that to your cousin?-B

Not normally. Just something about you. -E

Just something about me? He felt it too!

I'm home now. Gotta go. Talk later. -B

My head was totally spinning from the conversation that had just taken place. I could not believe any of it had really happened. I deleted all of the texts from my phone. Couldn't chance Em seeing them. I didn't know if it was a test. If Edward would go back and tell Em. I was completely panicking but I couldn't let Em see that.

I walked into the house and sat down on the couch with Em. We had a casual everyday conversation about our day at work. I was so tired from my shift and from all the thoughts that had been running around my head all day. I simply fell asleep on the couch with my head in Em's lap. I needed to give my mind a break.