Sunday, August 2, 2009
Chapter 9- Twisted
My head was still spinning from the conversation Edward and I had last night. I thought I had pushed aside my feelings for him, at least a little. As long as he wasn't around me, I was doing well suppressing the thoughts of him. Or maybe that was wishful thinking. It was out of hand and I needed to regain control over my emotions.
I couldn't believe that I had revealed any of my true feelings to Edward. It was hard to believe that we were both feeling the same thing. His feelings toward me had to be strong if he was willing to betray his favorite cousin that way. I kept hearing it in my head 'We can do it and not get caught.' How could we possibly do this to someone we cared a great deal about, and not get caught? Was he used to cheating on his women? Is this something he did often?
This scenario was an odd place for me to be. Sure, I've cheated on someone in the past but like I've said before, I've never been in a relationship this serious.
There is no way I could be intimate with Edward and then come home to his cousin and act like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. I pride myself on being a really honest person. At least, until Edward came along. I'm not sure that I am capable of doing something that devious. On the other hand, how could I deny the attraction to him? Did the attraction only feel this strong because I knew it was wrong? That damn electricity could not be denied though. I felt it in every fiber of being every time he touched me. I know he had to feel it.
Thankfully, Edward hadn't texted me anymore since the last conversation. I wasn't ready for more questions from him. I didn't have any answers to give him. My mind wasn't processing everything correctly.
What good could possibly come from the things we said? Nothing. Someone or everyone will end up hurt if we acted on this. How much am I willing to risk for a man I don't even know?
Emmett, of course, woke up horny as hell. He always was. Especially, since he had cut down his drinking. His libido was back in full force, which was good. I needed that intimate time with him to keep my feelings for Edward repressed. We really do love each other and it feels good to be able to express it. He couldn't get enough of me and I knew that I needed him. Even though it was for reasons unknown to him.
“Bella, you up?” As he tugged on my panties.
“I am now.” Now that you're trying to rip my panties off of me.
My back was to him; he kissed me on the cheek and proceeded to pull my panties all the way off. Morning sex doesn't usually last long enough for me to put any real effort into it. Usually, after a good five minutes he was done. So, I reached into my night stand drawer and grabbed my vibrator. He was getting his so I might as well get mine. I did just that, thanks to my trusty friend. He finished about the same time and all I heard from his was “Fuck you are hot this morning......uuuhhhnnnnn!” Then it was over. Time to move on to the rest of the day.
As I was cooking breakfast for us, I heard my phone alert go off. It was Alice asking if her and Rosalie could come over for some girlie pool time. I was off of work and I knew Em could find something to occupy his time. So I told them to grab some margarita supplies and come over. Em decided that he would go play basketball with some friends at the gym. We ate breakfast together and about an hour later the girls showed up with lots of tequila and margarita mix.
“Hey ladies!” Em greeted the ladies as he opened the door for them.
“Hey Em! What's going on?” Alice asked him.
“Not much. Just heading to the gym for a little basketball with the fellas. I see you ladies have a full day planned with all that liquor.”
“Ha Ha! You know us too well, Emmett. Bring some of those cute friends home for us okay?” Rosalie replied.
“I thought you and Edward were dating?” Em asked her.
“Well, I'm not sure one date counts as dating. He's your cousin. You tell me!” She looked honestly confused.
He doesn't like women that throw themselves at him! But that's all you know how to do.
“You must have done something to him to make him not want another date. What happened when y'all went out?” Em looked like he really didn't care if they dated or not but was trying to be nice.
“I didn't do anything to him. He wouldn't let me! I didn't even get a kiss. I didn't want to go home but he wouldn't let me come to his house. I wore a really hot dress. I looked amazing. All the other guys were checking me out. I don't k now what's wrong with him. Maybe he's gay.” She shrugged her shoulders.
So, if a man doesn't want to fuck you on the first night, he's gay? He's definitely not gay. He wants me. I just can't have him.
I needed to end this conversation. I didn't want to keep talking about Edward all day. I was sure Rose would bring him up enough without it starting already.
“Alright, baby. Have a good time with the guys. Tell them I said Hey! I'll see you later.” I kissed and hugged him.
“Okay baby. You ladies have fun. I'll see you later. Love you.” He said as he shut the door behind him.
The ladies and I started making the drinks. We turned up the stereo to play outside and we all grabbed our things and went outside. We sat in the chairs and started to sip our drinks. I loved being out in the sun. This was one of our favorite things to do. It was so relaxing to just catch some sun and hang out with my girls.
“So, Bella, I think Jasper and I are getting really serious.” Alice looked so giddy.
“That's great Alice. I'm glad you two are working out. When do I get to meet him? I'm beginning to think you are hiding him! I keep asking but I never see him!”
“Well, next time we all go out I'll bring him. I really like him. He's such a nice guy and is always so perceptive of my feelings.” She laid back and sipped her drink. I could really tell she liked him, maybe even loved him.
“This is bullshit!” Rose shouted.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked her. Here comes more Edward talk.
“You” pointing at me “have Emmett. Alice has Jasper. I went on one date with a guy that would barely touch me! What the fuck is wrong with this picture?” She threw her hands up in disgust as she laid back down.
Alice and I looked at each other, kind of shocked.
“Rose” Alice started “you will find your man too. It doesn't always happen when you want it to but you will.”
“Yeah Rose. It just happens and maybe Edward isn't the guy for you. Maybe you just like the idea of who he is.” I added. You should definitely give up on Edward because I'll never let that happen.
“I don't know y'all. I really like Edward. Bella are you sure he doesn't have a girlfriend? That would explain why he was so apprehensive about that night.”
Just because he doesn't wanna fuck you doesn't mean he has a girlfriend. Maybe he just doesn't like you!
“I really don't know if he has a girlfriend or not. I haven't seen him much and Emmett doesn't really discuss Edward's personal life with me. Why don't you just call him?”
“Yeah Rose. Just call him. You are a strong woman. Go for what you want.” Alice added.
Not helping Alice! Just worry about Jasper!
“You're right Alice! I am a strong beautiful woman. I'm just gonna call him.” She looked satisfied with that.
We continued in casual conversation. We talked about Alice and Jasper some more. We talked about work and family and all the normal subjects.
We were pretty hammered by the time Em came home. We were laying on our floats in the pool when Em walked outside. We were all singing a horrible version of the song on the radio.
“Well well. I see some ladies have had way too much to drink today.” He said jokingly.
“Hey baby!” I exclaimed.
“Hey Emmett!” They both greeted him.
“So, I take it the drinks were good?” He asked us.
“You don't see any left do you?” I said sarcastically.
“So good ole Emmett” Rose turned her float to face Em. “What's with Edward? HIV? Girlfriend? Drug dealer? Mobster? Give me the dirt.”
I could not believe she was honestly asking Em these questions about Edward. She was already a blunt type of person and especially now that she was drunk and frustrated. Could you fucking let it go already?
“Rosalie, I am not going to sit here and discuss his life with you. If he wanted you to know he would have told you. I'm sorry if he doesn't want to keep dating you. Just move on already.” He looked pissed. “Bella, I'm gonna shower and meet Edward for some beers. I'll see you when I get home.” With that he walked into the house. I could tell he was pissed that Rose only wanted to talk to him about Edward.
We decided that we had been out in the sun long enough and it was time to go inside. After all the liquor and the sun draining our energy, we needed a nap. I laid on the couch in the living room and quickly drifted off. When I woke up, I noticed that everyone was gone. The girls left a note that said they didn't want to wake me and would talk to me the next day. I assumed Em was out with Edward.
I realized that I hadn't checked my phone all day since the girls had arrived. There were several text messages. I was apprehensive to open them; afraid of who they were from. I wasn't sure I was ready to talk to him again.
All of them were from Edward. He hadn't said anything out of line. I guess he was afraid that Em would check the phone. I responded, knowing Em was with him, and asked him what he wanted. He texted me back and said he just wanted to finish our conversation from last night. We continued to text each other back and forth. Him saying he couldn't stop thinking about me. I was saying the same thing but we could never be. I finally was fed up with us going back and forth and I ended the conversation.
I was in the shower when Em came back home. “Hey babe. What ya doing?” He asked as he sat down on the bathroom counter.
“Just showering Em. What did you think I was doing? Ending world hunger?” I replied jokingly.
“Funny funny Bella. What you got planned tonight?”
“Nothing much. Maybe watch a movie. Wanna watch with me?” I asked him.
“Yeah that sounds good.” He said as he left the room.
I finished my shower and got dressed. I then went to meet him in the living room. We decided on a movie and sat down next to each other on the couch.
“Bella, I'm not being an asshole but could you tell Rosalie that I am not Edwards' keeper and if she wants to know things about him then she needs to ask him?” I could hear the sharpness in his voice.
“I'll tell her Em. I was sick of hearing that shit too. I'll take care of it.” Not that she would listen to me but I would tell her.
I was watching the movie when I heard Em snoring.
I had been secretly contemplating all day if I would actually have the guts to go through with seeing Edward. I couldn't even fathom being alone with him. Simply dancing with him made me wet. It was hard to form complete sentences around him. How could I handle being alone with him in a close proximity? I knew he was ready. I knew that sneaking away while Em was asleep maybe the only chance I get. If I sneak out while he's sleeping he couldn't question where I was going. I could come up with something later. I could tell him I was at a friends' house hanging out. He would believe that.
I finally got up the nerve and texted Edward.
Can you meet me tonight? B
The message was sent now. There was no turning back. I couldn't believe I had really just sent it.
Are you serious? Where? What time? E
Fuck! I have no clue.
ASAP. You tell me where. B
If he couldn't make it tonight I wasn't sure that it would ever happen again. I may never get the nerve again.
Leaving in five. Hilton at the Airport. E
Wow....this is really gonna happen. I can't believe I'm doing this! Shit!
Okay. Text you when I get there. B
Now, I actually had to leave the house. My stomach was in knots. My pulse was racing. I was scared of getting caught and I was excited to see him all at the same time. Can I really do this?