Sunday, August 2, 2009

Chapter 3- You're Not Sorry.

Bella POV

“Bella! Get the fuck up! Quit acting like you don't hear me!” Emmett was yelling at me as I awoke from my peaceful slumber. What the fuck? Why is he yelling at me? He's the one that passed out.

I rolled over and saw Emmett standing over me and staring daggers at me. “Well good fucking morning to you too.” I said sarcastically. I tried to get up from the bed to go pee but Emmett just pushed me back down on the bed.

“Don't try to be funny Bella! Why in the fuck did you leave me in the car all night? It was hot as hell out there.” The look on his face would have been terrifying if my mind was properly working.

I was still half asleep when I said “Quit yelling Em. It's too early for this shit. I need to go pee. Let me up.” I tried once again to raise from the bed and was shoved back down. Are you fucking kidding me? You are not Ike Turner.

“When you fucking answer my question you can get up. Answer me now! Why did you leave me in the car?” He demanded.

“Em, in case you forgot you fucking passed out in the car. And in case you haven't noticed you are fucking gigantic! There's no way in hell I would ever be able to lift you. There's your fucking answer. Can I get up now Ike?” Fucking move. I was seriously pissed at that point.

“So you didn't bother to try and wake me up? You just left me out there in the eighty degree heat?”

“Emmett this is stupid. You know how you are when you are drunk and you were dead to the world. Get the fuck over it and handle yourself better next time. I should be the one cussing and yelling at you. You totally ruined date night and you're not even sorry. I'm starting to think that you are doing this shit on purpose.” He finally let me get up from the bed and pass by him. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. This is gonna be one hell of a day.

I didn't hear anything else from the bed room while I was in the bath room. I was really shocked that he didn't completely blow up and bust down the door. Maybe he actually realized he was wrong.

I cautiously walked back out into the bedroom. I wasn't sure what I would find. I saw Em sitting in the chair across the room. He was as still as a statue with a blank look on his face. I wasn't sure what was going through his head and it scared me. “Em.” I sad timidly. “Are you alright?”

He didn't even move. His expression didn't change at all. I was even more confused by that.

“Baby? What's wrong?” I asked.

“Bella, do you really think we are gonna last?” He sounded like a child who had lost his puppy. I had no idea how to answer him. Yes, I loved him. Yes, I wanted to be with him. Would we be together in ten years? I had no idea.

I sat down on the edge of the bed. “Baby, I don't know. I love you and I wanna be with you but I can't predict the future.”

“I know. It just scares me that we are arguing all the time lately. What did you mean when you said that you think I am doing this on purpose?” He still sounded so sad and confused.

“It seems like as soon as we decide to work things out, you do something to sabotage us. Date night was going so well and then you passed out on me. What should I be thinking?”

“Bella, I love you. I'm not trying to sabotage us. I was having such a good time with you that I didn't realize how much I was drinking.” He looked utterly confused.

“It's not just last night Em. You are drinking all the time. Half the time you don't even sleep in the bed with me because you're passed out on the couch.” I just want my man back.

“I'm sorry, Bella. Do you think we could work this out?” He sounded really sincere.

“We just have to take it day by day and try to make some changes. If we want it to work, I think we can make it.” I said sincerely.

I walked over to him and sat down his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my lips. “We gotta make this work, Bella. I love you too much.”

“We will baby.” At least I hope.

We sat in this position for what seemed like hours. It was so comfortable to be held in his big strong arms. It felt like home. I knew we would at some point have to talk about those changes we each needed to make but we were both so stubborn that it would not be an easy conversation. I was attempting to delay the inevitable when I looked at his face, grabbed his chin with my hand and turned his lips to meet mine.

The kiss was a desperate kiss. It wasn't filled with passion or lust. It was pure desperation. Wanting to hang on to each other and to this moment. We were both trying to stop time. We knew that the conversations over the next few days would be very tense and emotion filled. We were hoping that kiss would lead to activities that did not involve conversation.

Our kiss deepened and the more he kissed me and the more his hands roamed my body, the more my love for him became evident to me. He was still able to make me feel the love he felt for me. Before I knew it, my clothes were practically non existent. I had been so wrapped up in my mind and my feelings that I hadn't noticed he had removed all of my clothing except my panties. He swept me up and laid me down on the bed. He raised up to remove his clothes and I watched his well shaped form undress piece by piece. This sex wouldn't be rushed or hurried. It was going to be very long and focused.

We used our hands to roam each others' bodies. Exploring them like we had never seen the other naked. We kissed every part of each others' bare skin. Starting with our lips going all the way down to our ankles. It was very intimate and sensual. He moved on top of me and I wrapped my legs around him pulling him closer to me. He entered me slowly and easily. He felt so right inside of me. He filled me completely. We didn't stop kissing the entire time we made love.

We came in unison. It was amazing. He and I had never done that before, I didn't think it was possible. We just laid in each others' arms when it was over. We didn't want to leave the comfort of the bubble we had created.

The next few days for us were very trying. Thankfully it was the weekend and we were both off of work. We had decided that we wouldn't be separated until we had figured everything out. We discussed everything. I told him all of the things that he did to bother me. All of the things I was unhappy with in our relationship. He did the same with me. We discussed the future. The things we wanted, the things we didn't want. There was a lot of crying. There was a lot of yelling but we stayed focused and came to some decisions.

Em agreed to watch his drinking and slow down. I agreed that I would quit obsessing and nagging him over the little things. He agreed to try and bring back the romance. I agreed that I would try to step up our sex game. There were plenty of things that were agreed upon. As for our future, we decided that we would try to make it work and work towards taking our relationship to the next level.

We both felt like a great weight had been lifted off our shoulders after everything had been discussed rationally. I was sure we would be strong enough and that we loved each other enough to work through all of our garbage.

It was Sunday night when Edward called Em back. He informed us that he would be in town for good on Thursday. He wanted all of us to get together Friday night for drinks. It sounded like fun and I loved the area of town he suggested. There would be plenty to do if Edward and I didn't get along. I would be able to sneak away and do my own thing.

The next week had went by pretty well and uneventful. Em and I worked and spent a lot of time at home with each other. We were reconnecting. We cuddled a lot. We laughed a lot. We had lots of sex. Our relationship was definitely the best it had been in quite a while.

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