Sunday, August 2, 2009
Chapter 13-Beautiful Lie
I pulled in to the drive way. The ride home seemed a lot shorter than it should have been. My mind had been flooded with thoughts of Edward and our night together. I couldn't get the thoughts of his beautiful body out of my head. I kept imagining that his hands were still touching me. I barely remembered any of the turns that led me home.
I noticed that the whole house was dark, except for our bedroom. I could see that at least the TV was on, which meant Em was awake. He never sleeps with the TV on. Fuck! How in the hell am I gonna explain this? How can I walk in there and act like nothing has happened? How can I look at him knowing what I just did with his cousin? I knew what we had done was wrong on so many levels but I honestly felt helpless to stop it. It felt like the universe was working to bring us together. It felt like more than just a lustful attraction.
It was honestly the best sex of my life. The orgasms were amazing but his attentiveness and care were the elements that made it extraordinary. How can I go back to a normal self centered man now? I felt like I was a child who had her favorite doll taken away from her and was told to act like it never existed. How can I keep this to myself? I want to scream to the world how amazing I think this man is.
I sat in the car for a few moments, trying to gather my thoughts. I would have to hide my little 'secret' bag under my seat and take it out when Em wasn't around. There was no way I could walk in the house with it. I took a few deep breaths and decided to just get it over with already. I got out of the car and walked to our front door. I put my key in and slowly turned it to open the door. I set my purse on the table and walked back to the bedroom. The door was open but I didn't hear Em making any noises. Did he fall asleep watching TV? No way I'd be that lucky.
I walked in the bedroom and saw Em wide awake watching TV. “Hey babe. Where ya been? I was starting to get worried.” He said calmly.
“Hey sweetie.” I said as I started undressing to get ready for bed. “I was just hanging out with the girls. Rose is a little upset about being rejected, so Alice and I decided to cheer her up with a girls night in. I didn't mean to worry you. I just assumed you were still sleeping.” I was done undressing and started to get into the bed. I hope he bought that.
I could feel Em shift his weight and sit up in the bed just as I was trying to lay down. “Well, damn Bella, you could have at least left a note or something. You don't usually stay out this late without letting me know you are okay.” He sounded a bit mad.
“I know Em but you were asleep when I left and I just assumed you'd be asleep until morning. I didn't want to call and wake you and I didn't feel the need for a note since you were already asleep.” I said as I was still facing away from him.
“I understand, just next time leave a note or text me or something. I just wanna know you're safe. I know the girls need you.” He sounded sincere. I was really hoping he bought my lie.
I hated lying to him but there was no way I could ever tell him what happened. I was going to make sure that he never found out what really happened. It would cause him more pain than necessary. Tonight would more than likely be a one time thing. I couldn't very well spend all my free time sneaking around with Edward. For all I know, he probably just wanted to see if he could get me into bed and now that it's out of his system he would move on.
I needed to just relax and get him out of my head. I needed to focus on Em before I made a mistake.
I felt Em slide back down in the bed and cuddle up behind me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and snuggled his nose into the back of my neck and all I could think about was how it felt when Edward touched me. The feel of his hands on my bare skin. Lightly touching my stomach and sending heat waves surging through me. The way his mouth felt on my breasts. The way his tongue worked his magic all over my body. The way his eyes peered into my soul.
I don't know if Edward being attentive and telling a girl that he'd never felt that way, was all a part of his game but it worked. I really wished it wasn't a part of his game because he was now in my soul. It would hurt like hell if this was all a game.
“Bells?” Shit, what now? I'm worn out and ready to sleep. He only calls me Bells when he wants something.
“Yeah baby?” I replied reluctantly. I really hope you don't wanna have sex. I haven't recovered from what your cousin did to me tonight.
“Are you really tired?” He asked quietly. Yes! I'm fucking tired. I used all of my energy earlier. Nothing left for you. So sorry!
“Kinda. Ya know I didn't sleep the whole night away like you did.” I said sarcastically. I really had no desire to have sex with him. I knew I would have to eventually but I didn't want to do it so quickly after Edward. It just didn't feel right.
“Too tired to play?” Really Em? It's almost four in the morning and you're trying to be playful? I want to fucking sleep!!!
“I guess not.” I replied hesitantly. He didn't even wait two seconds before he was pulling down my underwear. What the fuck is my life coming to? I am not going to enjoy this at all. Maybe he will just hurry up and go back to sleep.
He didn't bother to pull off my tank top. He just pushed it up above my breasts. He slid off his boxers and grabbed one of my legs and lifted it up onto his shoulder. He grabbed his cock and I felt him press it against my entrance. “Damn baby. You must not be too tired. You're wet as hell.” That's not from you Em. That's the leftovers from Edward. I hadn't been able to get him out of my mind so I knew that was why I was still wet. I was even thankful for it. Otherwise, he would've been trying all kinds of shit to get my wet.
I felt him finally push through my skin and inside of me. It felt good but also made me a little queasy. I had never been the type of girl to sleep with two men in one night and now I was sleeping with two family members. It was enough to make me sick. I couldn't have told him no without a good reason and I didn't have one.
He started his thrusts and got into his rhythm. He began to massage my breasts with his hand and kiss the back of my neck. Normally, this would feel great to me but tonight my mind wasn't focused. I was ashamed of myself and I needed to think of something else.
He quickly had his release and I was glad he had made it quick. I got up to wash off in the bathroom and I literally felt like I was going to vomit. Thankfully, I didn't because that definitely would've been a bad conversation.
We both got back into bed and said our good nights. Before I knew it Em was back to his normal snoring and I was staring at the ceiling. My mind was so clouded. I had crossed such a big line and felt like a complete fucking slut. Em didn't deserve this but I have no idea where to go from here. I eventually drifted off to sleep.
The next day I woke up and realized that I hadn't even checked my voice mail from Rose. I had no idea what she wanted but I needed to find out before she just showed up and totally busted me in my lie to Em.
I walked into the kitchen to grab my phone and get a glass of water. Em was already out at the pool swimming laps. I dialed my voice mail and listened to her message. “Hey B! I wanted to say I'm sorry that I keep bringing up Edward. I know everyone is sick of hearing about it. I was just sitting here drinking some wine thinking about you. I love you and I promise the days of me sulking over Edward are over! Call me when you get this. Love you.”
I was thankful that she was finally going to let it go. I also wondered if she was a little drunk when she left that message. She said she was drinking and it was a little late. Oh well. Maybe she was being serious.
I walked into the back yard to the pool. I sat down on the edge of the pool and put my feet in, waiting on Em to finish his laps. He swam over to me when he noticed I was there.
“Morning Bella.” He said as he kissed my knee.
“Morning honey. I didn't even feel you get up today?”
“You looked so peaceful, I just thought I'd swim a little before you got up.”
“I was sleeping pretty hard huh?” That's because Edward took all of my energy. I would happily do it again today if I could. “It's okay. What you doing today? Any plans?” I asked him.
He shrugged his shoulders and said “Not really during the day. I thought maybe you and I could hang out. Maybe do a little shopping or go have a nice lunch?” Really? Now you wanna spend time? Ugh. I am a terrible fucking person.
“That sounds great baby. It'll be good to spend some time with just you. I'll go get some breakfast going.” I said as I pulled my feet out of the pool.
“Okay. I'll be in soon.” I nodded to him as I went inside.
I started to fix his favorite breakfast. I had the bacon and eggs on the stove. The biscuits were in the oven. Everything was just about ready when I heard his cell phone ring.
I grabbed it and took it out to him. “You're phone was going off and breakfast is almost ready. So, come in.”
He walked in the house a few moments later. “That was Edward.” My fucking heart stopped beating when those words came out of his mouth. Why in the fuck is he calling Em this early? He hasn't even texted me or anything. Oh God Oh God. I knew it was a fucking set up. The whole fucking thing was a set up! I am totally screwed. There is no way I can talk my way out of this one. He probably has fucking pictures and everything. Em was just pretending to be nice and believe me.
I couldn't breath. My mind was pounding, My heart stopped. Time fucking stood still as I waited on the next words to come out of Em's mouth.