Sunday, June 21, 2009

Chapter 25- I Will Be

Chapter 25- I Will Be

(Bella POV)

“Bella? Bella? Please answer me. Are you okay?” His voice was full of worry but I couldn't manage to actually produce words. All I could do was sob. “Bella, say something. Anything. Where are you? I'll come get you?”

I never imagined that I was going to be this emotional about leaving Em. I knew it was coming and I was the one that had made the decision to end it but it clearly wasn't making it any easier. I felt like such an idiot. I was sobbing like a five year old, in my car on the side of the road. Could I not be an adult and control my emotions?

“Bella? Where are you?”

“I....I....” I stuttered. I didn't want to seem this weak. I wanted to be strong and handle all of this like a real woman would.

“I …. I am on the side of the road. You don't have to come get me. I...I...I'll be fine. Just talk to me. Please.” I took a few deep breaths and tried to regain my composure.

“Thank God. I didn't know what had happened to you. Are you sure you don't want me to come get you?”

I ran my hand through my hair and leaned my head back against the headrest. “No. I'll be okay to drive. It was harder than I thought it would be.”

“I'm sorry Bella. I'm sorry you had to go alone. I've been so worried about you. He didn't do anything bad to you, did he?” He questioned. I could tell he was only concerned about my well being.

“No, he didn't. It was just hard to tell someone goodbye that you've spent everyday with for the past few years. At least it's over with. Now we can move forward.”

“I know it was hard, Baby. I love you.” The smooth sound of his voice never seemed to get old.

“I love you too. I guess I need to start driving and get off the side of the road.” I said as I lifted my head up and grasped the steering wheel.

“Are you sure you're safe to drive?”

“Yeah, I'm okay now. I'm just not sure where I'm going to be driving to.” I know he wanted me to come there but I just wasn't sure yet. I didn't want Edward to be the rebound guy. I wanted to make sure that I was ready to fully be with another man. He seemed so sure that everything would work out with us. I wasn't sure how he could be so certain. Did he know something I didn't?

“Bella, what are you talking about? I thought you were going to come here?” He sounded hurt.

I sighed to myself. “I'm just not sure Edward. I don't want to mess things up with us just because I don't have a place to go right now. I'm sure I can call Alice and stay with her for a while.” I knew where I wanted to be but I just wanted to make the right decision.

“You don't need to go to Alice's. She's going to want to know what happened and do you really want to tell her the whole story so soon? Please just come here. If you don't want to stay here we can figure something out. Please.”

He was right. I loved Alice but she would surely want to know the details and I wasn't ready to tell that story yet.

“I'll just go to a hotel for a few days then.” I tried to negotiate with him.

“Bella, please quit being so stubborn. Just come here for now and we can talk about this later.”

I put the car in drive and pulled back on to the road.

“Okay. You win. I'll be there soon.”

“Thank you. Please be careful. I love you.” He was so open with his feelings now and it almost made me melt every time he said those words.

“I will be. I love you too.” I said as I shut my phone.

I drove to Edward's and my mind was boggled the whole time. I was thinking about Em and how hurt he looked when I left. I was thinking about how in the hell I was going to explain this to everyone. I was thinking about what things would be like if I decided to live with Edward. I wasn't worried about what everyone else would think but I didn't want Edward to think I was only with him because it was convenient.

I've never felt for anyone the way I feel for Edward. He deserved to know it and feel it. He had made me feel so special and he deserved to feel the same way.

I pulled into Edward's driveway and saw the garage door open and him standing behind it. The closer I got to the garage the more I could see just how concerned he was for me. He looked like he couldn't get to me soon enough. I wanted to forget the car and jump out into his arms. I wanted to have his strong arms wrapped around me, making me feel safe. I didn't want to cry about Em anymore. I wanted to move past it and be happy with Edward.

I pulled into the garage and before I could put the car in park, Edward was opening my door.

“Bella, I've missed you so much.” He said as he bent down to reach for my face. “I'm so happy you are here.”

I was taken aback from just how concerned he was. I couldn't believe that he loved me that much. I released the steering wheel from my grip and looked at his face. I managed to hold back the tears but I'm sure my face was showing my sadness and apprehension.

He leaned in and kissed my forehead lightly. I couldn't manage to actually produce any words even though my mind was screaming 'I love you. Please hold me.'

He looked deep into my eyes, searching for the answer to a question I knew was coming.

“Bella, are you alright?”

“I will be.” I said simply as I looked into his eyes.

“Let's get you in the house where I can take care of you, properly.” He said before he scooped me up and carried me into the house. I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzled my nose into his chest. I wanted to inhale his delicious scent. I wanted to hear his calming heart beat. His encompassing love was my home and I wanted to be wherever he was. I knew then that I didn't care what anyone else would think about our relationship, when we finally revealed it. All that matters is us and our love.

He carried me to his bedroom and laid me on the bed. I was fighting extremely hard to contain my emotions and hold back the tears. I just felt like I needed to get them all out before I could truly move on. My eyes were closed when I felt Edward lean down and lightly kiss my cheek before whispering in my ear. “I love you, Bella. Just try to relax while I pamper you.”

The past twenty four hours had been so amazing and I could only imagine what he had in store as far as pampering me.

I felt him pull off my sneakers and socks. He moistened his hands with some lotion and began to massage my feet. A small moan escaped from my lips as I started to to relax. His hands were like magic as he pressed his thumbs into the soles of my feet.

He then pushed up the legs of my jeans and began to massage my calves. I couldn't believe how relaxed I was becoming. I wasn't sure if my love for this man was overwhelming me or if it was honestly the massage.

He stopped for a second before reaching up and unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them down. I allowed him to pull them down without hesitation. I would let this man do anything he wanted to me.

He slowly and methodically massaged my thighs. He came closer and closer to my center with each pass of his hands and I thought I was going to explode. I wasn't even thinking about sex at first but I couldn't control myself when he was being so loving and his hands were so close to my center.

He lifted up and brought his mouth to my ear. “Bella, Do you trust me?”

Did he really have to ask? “Yes, Edward, I do.”

“I'm happy to hear that. I'm not done pampering you. Stay in the zone, baby.” He said as he cradled me and lifted me up into his arms.

He carried me into his bathroom and sat me on the vanity before pressing a light sensual kiss on my lips. He turned around and started the water in his garden tub. He dropped in a scoop of the bath salts. What man has bath salts? Oh well, I don't care. He tested the temperature of the water before turning back around to me.

He gazed into my eyes and pressed his lips against mine, once again. Thoughts of Em were slowly drifting from my mind. Every second I spent with Edward confirmed that I had made the right decision.

He grasped the hem of my shirt and slowly pulled it over my head. He reached around and opened the clasp of my bra; releasing my breasts as my bra fell off my shoulders. I could feel the steam from the hot water begin to settle in my muscles and release some of the tension.

He slid his fingers down the sides of my panties and began to pull them down. I raised my butt off of the counter so he could remove them without any problems. He, once again, scooped me up and sat me down inside the warm relaxing water.

I allowed my head to fall back as Edward lit a few candles and turned off the lights. I closed my eyes and the water wash away all of stress from the day. I couldn't dwell on the past. It was time for the future.

I felt Edward's hands on me as he began to knead the muscles in my neck and shoulders. This was truly heaven on Earth and I wasn't sure I would ever want to leave this bathroom. I'd never had any man do the things Edward had done in the last day. He was amazing me more and more every minute. I didn't know what I did to deserve this man but I was certain I wasn't going to let him go.

I drifted to sleep for a minute while I was still in the tub before I felt Edward press his warm lips against my temple.

“Love, it's time to get out. The water is getting cold.”

“Okay.” I said as I stood up. Edward held out a towel to wrap around me. The best part wasn't the towel being wrapped around me, it was having Edward's arms wrapped around me. I would never tire of him. It felt like we were made for each other.

I fell asleep in his arms that night. I honestly couldn't bring myself to let him go.

I awoke the next day and felt like a new woman. Today would be the first day of the rest of my life. My new life with Edward. I looked at the peaceful, beautiful, sleeping man that laid next to me. I softly stroked his cheek with my hand. I just needed to feel him.

I continued to watch him sleep. He deserved his rest. He had put my needs before his own and taken care of me and shown me just how much he loved me.

We still had a lot of things to work out. When would we reveal our relationship to our friends and family? Would we tell everyone the truth? That we had been cheating liars or would we tell them that we started our relationship after I broke up with Em? I didn't want to lie to everyone or to hide but I just wanted to live in our perfect bubble for at least a couple more days.

I decided to get out of bed before he woke up. Sometime during the night he had managed to put one of his t shirts on me and a pair of his boxers. I made my way down stairs and into the garage to get my purse and at least my toothbrush and some clothes. As I walked back into the house, I reached for my phone inside of my purse. I needed to call into work. I was scheduled to work for the next few days but I knew there was no way I could make it. I told my boss that I had come down with a fever and couldn't make it in for my shift and would let her know when my fever was gone.

I ended the call and noticed I had a missed call from Alice. I listened to my voice mail as I say my bags down in the kitchen. I didn't want to assume he wanted my things in his room so I thought I would leave them here until he moved them where he wanted them.

Hey Bella. I miss you, a lot. I heard what happened with Emmett. I'm sorry. I'm here if you need me or just want to talk. Where are you anyway? I love you. Please call me.

I would call her soon but I just wasn't ready, yet. How did she know already? I hadn't told anyone. Em must be telling people. Great.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and soon Edward was within my sight. The man looked amazing, even with his crazy and unruly hair.

“Good morning, Mr. Amazing.” I said as I reached my arms out for him.

“Mmm, Good morning to you, love.” He responded as he kissed my lips sweetly.

That morning Edward and I sat around the house and kissed and talked and then kissed some more. We decided to keep things our secret for a while longer. We made the decision that we would know when the time was right. I didn't want to avoid my friends for much longer, although I wasn't sure if I could even call Rose my friend anymore since I hadn't seen her in forever.

After that day we settled into a fairly regular routine. He convinced me stay, which wasn't hard. I wanted to stay more than I wanted to leave.

I would wake up in the morning and fix a pot of coffee. Before the coffee was ready, Edward would come down and fix a ridiculous breakfast for us. I would go to work and he would send me sweet little text messages throughout the day. He would often send flowers or candy to the hospital. He was continuously doing thoughtful things for me. I fell more in love with him everyday.

I would come home and cook dinner for us. He always had a glass of wine waiting for me when I walked in the door. We would fall asleep watching movies on the couch or just laying in bed and talking. It was amazing how easy it was for us to be together. He always seemed to anticipate my needs or desires, like he was reading my mind.

Alice continued to call and send messages and after talking to Edward about it, I finally agreed to meet her for lunch on the weekend. I couldn't avoid her forever and she deserved for me to at least talk to her. Although, I may not tell her everything she wants to know.

Last night, I came home to find out that Edward's Aunt Amanda had called to tell him that the family reunion was coming up the next weekend. I had only been to the reunion with Em once. I wasn't sure how I felt about going but Edward had said that he would only go if I felt comfortable. He didn't want to go without me although, he wanted to see his family.

It was a tough decision to make and it was one that I couldn't decide over night. I love Edward very much but I wasn't sure I was ready to flaunt it in front of his family.

“Oh my God, Bella!” I heard Alice squeal as I walked into the restaurant. I suddenly felt her small arms wrap around my neck.

I embraced her in a tight hug. “Hey Alice. It's so good to see you!” I hadn't realized how much I missed her until I saw her.

We continued our embrace until her tiny arms caused me to be unable to breathe. “Alice, I can't breathe.”

She giggled as she released me. “I'm sorry. I'm just so happy to see you.”

We both had ridiculously large smiles on our faces. She took my hand as she said “I have a table over here. Let's sit down and talk.”

We sat down and the waiter came over to get our order. We of course ordered two fish bowl margaritas. Hopefully, I wouldn't get drunk and spill everything I had been hiding. I wanted her to know the truth, just not all of it.

“So,” Alice began “Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, ya know.” I said shrugging my shoulders. “It was hard at first but I have pretty much moved past it now.”

“That's great to hear. I thought it would take you a little longer to get over it but I guess it wasn't that traumatic since you broke up with him.”

If only she knew. “Yeah, I cried a lot at first. It was just the right thing to do. We were more friends than lovers. I felt like we were together for appearances, not for love.” As I took a sip from my drink.

“I understand. I know you left him the house. I was pretty shocked to hear that. Where are you living now?” She questioned.

“Well, I.....” I stammered. I wasn't sure of how to tell her I was with Edward. “I... I'm seeing someone and I've been staying with them lately.” I couldn't look at Alice in the face. I had to look down at the table. I didn't want to see the judgment in her face.

“Really?” She sounded surprised.


“Well, that was fast. Who is he? He must be pretty amazing for you to be spending so much time with him so soon.”

I looked up at her. There was no way I could tell her that it was Edward. I would warm her up to the idea of me being with someone and tell her how great he is and then after a while tell her who he is.

“I'd rather not tell you, just yet. Things are going so well with us that I don't want to jinx it.”

“Oh, I see. You are keeping secrets now, huh?” She responded with one eyebrow cocked.

“Not really. I just don't want to screw it up so soon.”

“Yeah yeah, blah blah blah. If you won't talk about your great new relationship, I'll talk about mine.”

“Okay, let me guess. Jasper is still amazing and you guys are better than ever?”

“Of course but the big thing is that I think he's going to ask me to marry him! I can't wait for him to ask me. It's like he's dragging it out.”

“That's great! I'm so happy for you. I can't wait for your fabulous wedding.”

She was pretty much jumping out of her seat with excitement. “I know! It's going to be the event of the season. I want you and Rose to be the bridesmaids.”

“I'd love to! Speaking of Rose, have you talked to her recently?”

“No, she's been kind of distant lately. She, like you, is dating some new guy that she won't tell me anything about. I'm getting really tired of you two keeping secrets from me.”

Rose was never one to hide any of her men. She loved to make people jealous with her handsome, rich men. I couldn't imagine why she was hiding this one and especially from Alice. Then again, I was keeping the same secret. Interesting.

The rest of the lunch continued in the same manner. Alice talking about wedding plans and I was daydreaming of Edward. After a couple hours, we said our goodbyes and went in separate directions. I loved Alice for not scolding me on how wrong it was to be staying with a man so soon. I only hoped she be as understanding when she found out it was Edward.

Once I was on my way home to Edward, there was a mixture of emotions inside of me. I was still worried about going the family reunion. I wanted to go because I knew how much he wanted to see his family and I wanted to be there for him like he was for me. I was curious about the secret man that Rose was seeing. I was excited to see Edward's handsome face when I got home.

This man had done so much for me and there was no way I could deny him a chance to see all of his family at one time. If he wanted to go as a couple, then I would go.

1 comment:

  1. Hey
    this story is great
    i look forward to next chapter
    best wishes Pedy
    PS: don't know if everthing is right(my english is not so good...)