Chapter 22- Shameless. (Edward POV)
Those were the last words she had spoken to me. Those two words broke my heart and shattered my world. I sat there and poured my heart out to her and she didn't believe me. She looked me in my eyes and walked away. I didn't understand how she couldn't see my sincerity and honesty. I've never been more honest and serious in my life.
I've never had to work to get a woman back. Hell, in all honesty, I've never wanted any of them back. This was all new to me. I wasn't sure how to do this. How to make her believe me. She had said that my words didn't have meaning to her anymore. I understood what she was saying. I had lied to her when she had been nothing but honest with me. I was going to have to do more than talk to get her back. I was going to have to prove it. I would have to show her that Tanya was gone and show her how much I love her and want... no, need her.
I've been miserable without her. I've been having nightmares again about my parents' accident. I wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Then, I started seeing Elizabeth in my dreams. She was always telling me to show Bella how much I love her and to prove my love. She would hold my hand and tell me to not give up; that true love always wins.
I had never dreamed of Elizabeth before now. I wondered if that was my mind's way of telling me to quit being a pussy and get my woman back already. She was with the wrong man and I didn't know how she hadn't figured that out already.
I couldn't even bring myself to really care when Tanya finally moved the last of her things. She came down here almost like she was expecting me to, miraculously, want to go back to Chicago with her. I just figured she would hire some more men to come in and grab her boxes and load them up, like she had the last few times. I was completely surprised when she showed up.
I was in the living room, laying on the couch. This had become my new resting spot since Bella had walked away from me. I couldn't sleep in my bedroom because it reminded me of Tanya. I didn't want to sleep in the guest room because it reminded me of Bella. I couldn't even bring myself to open the door to the guest room. I didn't want to see that bed and remember that day with Bella. The day when I had broken down and let her see inside of me. The day we had officially moved past sex. It was one of the best days I've ever spent with a woman and that's saying a lot considering there was no sex involved.
I was watching my usual, CSI, when I heard the door open. I had forgotten to get Tanya's key back from her. I was just so happy she was leaving and didn't even think about getting her key back. I didn't even bother to move or to greet her.
I looked like hell. I hadn't shaved in days. I couldn't tell you the last time I took a shower. I wasn't even bothering to eat.
I heard the clicking of her heels against the wooden floor as she walked closer to me.
“What the fuck has happened to you?” She scolded as she stood in front of me.
“Move Tanya. You are blocking the TV.” I said with no life or expression.
She stood there and looked at me for a few moments without moving and I was getting more and more pissed at her.
“Tanya! Fucking move!” I yelled.
“So, Edward, this is what your life has come to? Are you that upset that I left? You know you can come with me.” She said as she finally moved to the side.
“Not even close. I'm actually very happy that you left and I told you before that I am not going back to Chicago. Why are you here anyways?” I hadn't looked at her then entire time. I couldn't tell you what she was wearing or if she even looked decent. Although she was standing directly in front of me, I was looking through her and past her.
“If you are so happy, why do you like like shit?” She said sarcastically.
“None of your business. Again, what are you doing here?” My temper was getting shorter by the second. If she didn't hurry up and get the hell out of my house, I would probably hurt her.
“Damn, Edward. You are such an asshole. I'm here to get my last few boxes. I thought I would do it personally.” She said in a sultry voice as she tried to stroke my head.
I moved away from her and sat up on the couch. “Don't touch me Tanya. Your boxes are in the dining room. Leave your key on your way out.”
Was she really not getting the point that I wasn't interested in anything she had to say anymore? She really was more clueless than I had thought.
I heard the click of heels again but this time she was walking away from me, thankfully. I heard her mutter a 'asshole' under her breath as she walked toward the dining room. I felt a small twinge of happiness inside of me, knowing that I had succeeded in pissing her off.
I didn't offer to help her pick up the boxes or move them. I continued to sit on the couch and watch TV like she wasn't even there. After about and hour of hearing her go in and out of the my house, I heard her walk back over to me.
She sat her key on the coffee table and then leaned down and in towards my face. Was she going to fucking kiss me? She has to be joking.
I put my hand in her face and pushed her away without saying a word to her. I heard her huff and then I finally heard her walk towards the door and then heard it click close behind her. She was finally gone.
That one day was the only bit of happiness I've had lately. I needed to get my shit together and start working on a plan to get Bella back. I couldn't sit around on my ass anymore and feel sorry for myself. That wasn't going to prove my love for her. It was making me look and feel like a fucking chump. I am a man and men do ridiculous things to get women back.
But what the fuck do I do? Who the fuck could I ask about this? I don't know anyone that has been in the shitty of a situation. I am on my fucking own with this one. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. Hell, I would tell Emmett to his face what we had done if she wanted me to. I would put up a fucking billboard proclaiming my love for her if she asked. I was fucking shameless and I knew it. She had me whipped and she didn't even know it.
I needed to share something with Bella that I had never shared with anyone else. The only other person that knew the real reason I moved to Chicago was dead. I needed to tell her why I had moved there. I needed to tell her where my money came from. I knew she was curious about it. Who wouldn't be? I obviously don't have a job but I always have money and then I bought this big ass house. She was too nice to just come out and ask. I needed to tell her my family secrets. Things I wouldn't even tell the rest of my family.
But I couldn't just call her up and tell her. I had to make it special. I knew what I needed to do. I just hoped she would agree to meet me.
I didn't know if she would want to talk to me but I had to take that chance. So, I did what we do. I texted her.
Bella, If you don't want to talk I understand but I didn't do a very good job of explaining myself last time. Will you please give me another chance? I promise this time I will make it worth your time. Please? -E
I was sitting at the house, alone. Em hasn't been back since our fight yesterday. I didn't really expect him to but we needed to figure things out. I wasn't looking forward to that conversation but it needed to be had. We needed to decide what we were going to do about the house and our belongings. We had accumulated a lot of stuff in our years together. I was giving Em his space. Letting him figure things out for himself.
I was a little startled when I heard my phone alert go off. I wasn't sure who it was and if it was Em, I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear what he had to say.
I opened my phone and saw that the message was from Edward. What does he want? Did he not remember how our last conversation ended?
I read the text and I was completely stunned. I was experiencing a mixture of emotions. I was happy to hear from him and I was pissed that he clearly didn't take seriously what I had said last time.
I re-read the message a few times before responding. I wanted to make sure that I read it right.
Edward, I agree. You didn't do a good job at all. It wasn't worth my time last time. Why should I believe this time will be different? -B
I felt bad for being so harsh but he needed to get in through his thick skull that I was tired of hearing him talk and lie. I needed to physical proof.
Because I understand what you said last time and I'm going to prove it to you if you will just give me the chance. -E
My heart skipped a beat at the fact that he had actually listened to what I had said and was taking it seriously. I wanted to run back to him but I knew that if I didn't stand strong this time, that he would walk over me in the future. It was now or never.
That all sounds good but I've had a shitty past 24 hours. Whatever you have planned is going to have to be spectacular, if I come. -B
That sounded really bitchy but it was the truth. Hell, I just found out that Edward was right about Em. He was cheating on me. I had been out in the middle of the night searching for him. He came home and lied to me about it and then hasn't been home since.
I wanted to be alone and do this on my own but I wasn't sure how many times Edward would ask me back if I kept turning him down.
It is spectacular. I promise. Will you meet me at my house at 7 tonight? -E
Part of me wanted to say no but the part that missed him and wanted him back was much larger.
I guess so. I'll be there. -B
I couldn't sound too excited. I couldn't let him know that inside my heart was jumping for joy that he hadn't given up.
Thank you! I can't wait to see you. -E
I had two hours to get ready and to get there. I jumped in the shower and then got dressed. I fixed my hair and put on a little make up. I threw on my favorite jeans, tank top and sneakers. I didn't want to dress up. Then he would know how excited I was and think he didn't have to work to get me back. I had to play hard ball.
I made my way to the car and started the drive to his house. I took my time getting there. Maybe I would intentionally be a few minutes late. Let him sit and think for a while. Let him wonder if I was really coming.
My mind was racing the whole ride. What am I going to say? I wasn't this excited to see him last time. Am I gonna be able to stay strong and not give in? What did he have planned? What is he planning that is going to be worth my time?
He didn't know that I would've probably come anyways but the t that he was basically begging me helped.
It was a quarter past seven when I pulled into his driveway. I was all of a sudden very nervous. I felt like it was my first time meeting him. My stomach was doing flips. My breathing was erratic.
The garage door was open, again. I pulled in and turned off the engine. I sat there for a few moments before getting out. I needed to get my head together and calm down. I needed to stay strong and show him that I was in control. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes. You are in control. You are strong. Don't give in. Make him prove it.
I opened the door and exited my car. As I stood up I felt my legs give out a little. I was very thankful that I didn't wear heels. I would've definitely fell down.
I put my keys in my purse and put my purse on my shoulder. I took another deep breath and rolled my shoulders back. Strong. Stay strong.
I looked around the garage and didn't see Edward anywhere. Am I supposed to just walk in the house? Where is he?
I noticed a red envelope attached to the door that lead into the house. Oh my God. What is that? What is he doing?
I walked over to the door and saw that the envelope had something written on it. It said “Bella, Open me.”
I removed the envelope from the door and opened it. I found a handwritten note inside of it. I pulled it out and read it.
Thank you for coming. I promised tonight would be worth your time. I am going to prove to you just how much I love you because I do love you. More than I've ever loved anyone. Open the door and follow the instructions.
All of my love,
My heart practically burst as I read his words. I never would have thought he would be so romantic. I couldn't wait to see what was inside. I wasn't sure how much longer I could remain strong. I was already weak when it comes to him and now that he's doing this type of thing, I was sure I would just melt when I saw him.
I took one last deep breath and turned the knob.